Before we get right into the review, I want to spotlight a fact you may not be aware of: there’s a chance 2 Broke Girls may be cancelled. According to the aforelinkedto TV By The Numbers the CBS sitcom has recently received ratings below Mike & Molly, another three camera show from the same network that was axed in 2015.

On the flip side of things, it’s been reported that over in mainland China the show is actually doing quite well. 2 Broke Girls is actually the number one most-searched American TV show on Baidu, the search engine of choice for people living there. Following behind it are such programs that you would expect to top the list, like Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones. Unfortunately a Chinese audience is not going to convince CBS to keep the show around, which is why I’m going to start approaching these reviews from a particular angle, specifically: what can 2 Broke Girls do to save itself?

Snag plotlines straight from reddit?

For additional context, and as you’ll see far below in my “The Title Refers To” section, this episode focuses primarily on a dude who has two dicks, or to put it more technically a condition called diphallia. The context of the above paragraph/sentence is that the 8th highest post ever on /r/IAmA, the subreddit where people as high profile as POTUS Barack Obama field questions from internet strangers, is, well-

-a guy with two penises.

Considering that reddit is the 9th most trafficked sited in the States there’s some small chance that someone in the writer’s room saw this thread when it was posted two years ago. But so what? What if 2 Broke Girls based the premise of this episode from something they found on the internet? In general everything is acceptable so long as it’s done well, so the real question should be if they pulled it off or not-

Unfortunately the answer is a resounding “no”. Things start out very promising, with new guy Owen declining the chance to do the horizontal tango with Max due to having to work early in the morning. This is fairly devastating, given that normally she gets what she wants, sex-wise, and things are further complicated when he says he wants them to get to know each other better first. The kicker, though, is his admission that this is due to him being “not regular down there”.

On the big night, and after some mild flirting, Max shares a few choice tidbits about her rough upbringing. Instead of jumping ship, as she expects him to, instead Owen kisses her, says they should skip dinner, and admits that he is a big fan of fire safety. They have sex and she sees his two penises.

The real issue comes about when Max tells Caroline the next day, which in turn leads to everyone else finding out as well. They react predictably, up until Caroline actually responds with “Max, you can’t be serious” after hearing that her friend really likes Owen. Is his condition honestly supposed to be some kind of dealbreaker? It comes so far out of left field that [continue baseball analogy here]. Then there’s Owen’s understandable, though never plainly stated, betrayal at having his secret made public. Following that up is Max being relatively sad, which feels awkward due to the little we’ve seen of him and their relationship.

Don’t wory, double fisting whipped cream canisters can solve any problem.

That chain of events in general isn’t bad, and is in fact a sitcom staple, but the actual execution is botched because the stakes are so low. We don’t actually care about Owen or his relationship with Max enough to want it to stick around. On that same note, we’re not disgusted enough by Owen and his diphallia to side with Caroline and get why she doesn’t want them together. There were some pretty choice puns dropped about having two dicks, but those puns need to be able to coexist with a strong narrative.

I actually went into this thinking that Sophie and Oleg would receive more of a focus this episode, especially since [and again, I mention this below] I assumed the title was in reference to her ovaries and such. Unfortunately their arc feels tacked on, with Sophie being afraid of the gynaecologist, or more accurately the potential reveal that their problems with childbirth stem from her womb and not Oleg’s testicles. This is another go-to for sitcoms [see: Scrubs‘ “My Own Personal Hell”], with a strong foundation of anxieties built on respective virility/fertility issues, but it’s never given quite enough time to really develop into anything significant. Come the end of the episode we find out that pregnancy is a in fact a possibility for the couple, any small present conflict immediately solved.

I certainly don’t have any issue with 2 Broke Girls trawling reddit, tumblr, or even 4chan for material, but if their comedic mechanics are so poor that they can’t adequately handle a simple shared-secret-ends-relationship storyline then things are looking grim. To offset that, however, is the fact that the cast continues to excel at physical comedy, and somehow manage to act better as an ensemble with each and every passing episode. There are bright spots for sure, but the problem spots needs to be addressed if the show doesn’t want to go the way of one of CBS’ last three camera sitcoms.

Current Total: $174.35

New Total: $140.00. Where hast thou gone, $34.35? Was Max’s pay docked due to her smuggling out bologna? We’ll never know.

The Title Refers To: Owen’s diphallia and not, as the promo pictures let on, Sophie’s reproductive organs.

Stray Observations:

• As evidence of the cast’s strength when it comes to physical comedy, the cold open had two great moments with: Han attempting to give Max a pat down-

• -and Oleg catching the bologna from Han  and just flinging it back into the kitchen.
• Caroline gives birth to a roll of toilet paper. At least it wasn’t another fish this time.
• She’s also caught by Max and Owen uncontrollably spraying white cream everywhere while frantically closing a laptop and no one says anything about it. This is the most restraint the show has ever shown in its entire runtime and it shocked me to my core.
• “Geez, one guy doesn’t wanna sleep with you and you’re sweatin’ to the oldies?”
• I was really impressed by Max drawing pictures of penises on camera, but angling the paper just enough so that censors couldn’t bust them for it.
• “Could be anything, in Moscow I saw this amazing penis freak show, ‘Ripleyovich Belive it or Nyet.'”
• Caroline’s options as to what Owen’s “down there” could look like: gnarly, wonky, truly haunting.
• “What if it’s not Oleg’s swimmers . . . what if it’s my pool?”
• “I wish I could afford Scruples, this is ‘Scrumples.'” My favourite joke of the entire night.
• “You too- I mean one!“
• “The only case in which two dongs make a right.”
• “Well Max, I guess he’s not the one, ‘cause he’s the two“
• Pop Culture Put-Downs: Not much here, either. Time to find a new feature?

Honestly, it’s been so long since the show has referenced the fact that Caroline Channing is a formerly wealthy heiress that it’s weird to think about how classism was once the foundation the show was built on. Now obviously the premise of the show is found in its title, a pair of young women struggling through near-poverty, but the first season really capitalized on one of the two leads having been filthy rich.

That also means that it’s been a very, very, very long time since 2 Broke Girls has decided to retread the plotline of Caroline ending an episode with a realization about her new life being, in some ways, far superior to her old one. Until this week, that is.

Which isn’t to say that it doesn’t offer up anything new and potentially exciting. See, it’s Caroline’s grandmother Astrid [played by Judith Roberts, who you may remember as one of the elderly cons on Orange is the New Black] who has just come out of a coma, and consequently going to have a coming out party to celebrate. Sorry, anyone hoping for an LGBT-centred storyline, it’s a deceptively-titled episode. Could I maybe direct you to last year’s “And the Inside Out Situation”?

The twist, because there has to be one, is that Grammy Channing doesn’t actually know about her son’s misdeeds and consequent incarceration and loss of wealth [her nearly finding out is what resulted in her coma to begin with]. Caroline is instructed to orchestrate the luncheon without her grandmother finding out about this horrific event.

Now before we get into the Big Character Moment™ that I promised she would experience at the climax of this episode, I want to discuss how the show’s approach to Astrid Channing can be telegraphed by its direction lately. No one who’s been watching Season 5 of 2 Broke Girls can honestly say that it’s preoccupied with the titular characters making money, and in fact the “New Total” shown at the end of each episode means little to nothing at all. It’s for this reason that we never really see Caroline’s grandmother as a possible solution to their poverty, or expect Max to be met with anything but the mildest disappointment [she barely reacts] when finding out that the old lady is likewise broke.

I also want to ask, since I honestly don’t know the answer, why Caroline’s Grammy has no money. I don’t see how her son’s actions could’ve affected her fortune at all. It also doesn’t explain why Bernard, her butler, stuck around since he can’t possibly be paid nothing. I’m sure he wasn’t viewing exclusive access to her very expensive creams as adequate payment for his services. Why is he around at all? Later in the episode he bemoans looking for a new job at Chipotle, but hasn’t he been unemployed this entire time?

There are so many questions I want to pose to the writers’ room, you guys.

Back to where we left off, Caroline’s moment is so big that she actually delivers an entire speech to her grandmother after being told to stop picking up bits of crystal off the floor since she is “not help”:

“Grammy, you may have been a coma but I feel like it’s me that just woke up. For the past five years I have really been missing all of this. But it’s not good crystal that makes a life, it’s good people. People like them. And they are not ‘the help’, but they did come here to help me. ‘Cause you and I may be related but these people are my family now. And also I should tell you: I don’t work on Wall Street. I work in Brooklyn, in a diner. See, I’m a waitress.”

It’s a lot. It’s a lot and it feels mostly unfounded since Astrid Channing is not terrible to the staff [the diner gang having been coerced into helping out]. She’s not even terribly racist, having nothing to say about Earl as the sommelier and only accusing Han of being Chinese instead of Korean. When she says earlier that Caroline being friends with the help it doesn’t feel nasty or even condescending, more like stating a fact.

But Caroline drops this bomb on her grandmother regardless, shattering the old woman’s dreams that her granddaughter has actually leveraged her Wharton business degree into a successful career in business. Then Gertrude [the only friend still alive to attend the coming out party] further explains that Astrid has no money and the shock kills her. It’s the first fatality we’ve seen with our own eyes on 2 Broke Girls, as far as I can remember.

As with most episodes this season, and the one that came before it as well, this episode is peppered with some legitimately funny moments. The issue is, as with this show’s entire running existence, they exist around a shaky narrative framework. Seven episodes in and we’re still not sure exactly what Max and Caroline are working towards, and at this point the only continuing storyline to latch onto is Sophie and Oleg’s attempts to have a baby. When your secondary characters are the ones whose hopes and problems continue from one episode to the next you have a problem.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE: The 2 Broke Girls writers’ room cares so little about the “Current Total” and “New Total” at the end of this show that they literally aired the exact same numbers as the last episode. The former was $174.35 and the latter $140.00. I’m honestly shocked at the carelessness, because it’s like they’re barely even trying to justify the feature anymore.

The Title Refers To: Please see the third paragraph far up above.

Stray Observations:

• Max hacked into Han’s Amazon account. The password: “Han Solo”
• The passwords he comes up with afterwards: “Han Golden Pond”, “Han-ah Montana”, “Straight Outta Compt-Han”
• Caroline’s grandmother didn’t shun her, “she was just practically dead!”
• “You know I exclusively shop at TJ Max. They’ve been helping me spring into summer for years!”
• “Crack a window it smells like ASS-trid in here.”
• SO many old people jokes.
• “Maria, was it? I’ll take a tall glass of agua, por favor!”
• Max and Caroline are so poor they drink “Milk Drink™”.
• There’s a fun gag about how Han and Sophie are lending out their gross roleplaying sex outfits to their friends to dress up as staff, but it’s not his as hard as it could’ve been.
• There’s a moment where Grammy says: “On top, I like it up on top” [in reference to her hair] and Max responds with “Whoa”-

• -and Dennings actually has to pause to make time for all the raucous laughter that erupt before finishing her line, “Whoa, grammy, keep it PG”
• Sophie puts on accents this episode and it’s the most fun she’s been in a really, really long time. I actually wanted more of it. The line that slayed me: “Pardon me, could you direct me to your . . . Jonathan?”
• The episode ends with Han giving everyone a raise after seeing what staff have to put up with, which is nonsensical because if anything he endures more than absolutely anyone else in the diner on a daily basis.

I’m gonna start by reminding all of you nice people that this show’s creators were paying so little attention to last week’s episode that they didn’t even bother changing the “Current Total” or the “New Total”, features that were once the entire crux of 2 Broke Girls. Once upon a time this show was all about Max and Caroline saving up for something big, and it’s very telling that this once important detail was recently overlooked.

As for this week, well, it’s another one of those episodes. And by “those episodes” I mean that not a lot happens. I was going to add more to that description, but it says it all. At this point the overarching narrative of the season appears to be Sophie and Oleg’s efforts to have a child together, and to that effect they take a significant step forward while the titular characters just live their lives as usual.

This episode focuses somewhat on one of the primary differences between Max and Caroline: the latter’s determination to achieve success with their business and the former’s seeming indifference to that goal. It also features what looks like product placement by Periscope.

All I really know about Periscope is that JP Lambiase of YouTube channel HellthyJunkFood® uses it as a way of getting content to his followers. It appears to be some kind of livestreaming service that people can use on their mobile devices [I didn’t do any more research beyond snagging the image above off of Google], and Caroline is all about using that to strengthen the social media presence of Max’s Homemade Cupcakes.

At this point I have to actively fight the temptation not to simply list out the events of this episode in bullet form. To really boil it down, though, Oleg’s cousin Gortek is in town as he’s signed on to play pro basketball. As a quick side note, Max quips that she thinks her wallet is made out of that stuff. People laughed, but they were all thinking of one thing and one thing only:

Initially Caroline wants to go to some sort of fair or something to promote their business, but ends up going to the game with Max instead. They’re up in the nosebleeds but end up sneaking their way down to the VIP section and passing off popcorn-covered tickets to an usher to get away with it. Caroline Periscopes their experience, inadvertently causing Max to spill beer on the floor. The beer on the court causes players to slip and fall. The girls run away and hide in the locker room. Somehow the guys pouring ice into the tub they’re sitting in don’t see them until they are wet and screaming-

Their definition of “scary cold”.

-and that’s pretty much it.

Oleg’s cousin isn’t so much a character as he is simply a means for the two girls to get the basketball tickets; he doesn’t even really reappear at the game. Max considers inviting Earl, letting her friend and roommate attend the event to do some PR for them, but that’s nixed in a wonderful bit of comedy I’ll mention below. The biggest consequence the girls even face is that they get cold and wet, which, given their shower situation back at the apartment, shouldn’t be a big deal.

On the flipside our favourite Eastern European couple [on 2 Broke Girls] has a little more of an interesting plot as Sophie is planning on selecting the perfect genes for their shared progeny. There are a few gags, with a handful of lines made at the expense of Anne Hathaway’s forehead, but ultimately it all culminates in the last few minutes with Sophie saying that she’s given up on the endeavour. As long as she has a “healthy, happy baby” she’ll be fine. It’s some significant maturation for her, and it’s odd that she gets so much character development when the show’s two leads get . . . well . . . nothing.

As usual my favourite bits of comedy are in the Stray Observations below [amid other lines I considered notable for whatever reason], and there are some pretty great moments. They’re still not enough to buoy a flagging show, however. It remains to be seen where Michael Patrick King and co. are taking us, and when this vehicle is going to start picking up speed.

Current Total: $197.

New Total: $280. I want to note here one more time that last week’s episode left the New Total at $140.00, unchanged from the episode before. They appear to have amended this error. As usual, I have no idea why this amount increased.

The Title Refers To: I initially thought that Earl’s surname might be “Jones” and that he would be playing a much larger part in this episode, but I was wrong. I can’t for the life of me recall a single mention of the name, so this feature is coming up with a big question mark this time around.

Stray Observations:

• Han [after having left Early in charge]: “I’ll be gone for . . twenty.” / Earl: “Speaking of 4/20, Max, do you wanna smoke some weed?”
• Caroline has to tell Max that “PR” stands for “public relations” and not “Puerto Rican.”
• “Your cousin’s in town? That’s weird, I didn’t get an alert on my phone.”
• Earl quips to Gortek- “You look familiar. Didn’t you brave a dragon on Game of Thrones?” -which is strange since confusing him with The Mountain would have been so much better.
• I’m sure it’s been done before, but Oleg and Gortek speaking to each other in Ukrainian about Han, interspersing English words like “jackass boss” and “virgin” is actually incredibly funny. Well done, too.
• “No, you know, I’m sorry; I’m out. Tonight I have to genetically modify a person while I watch The Good Wife.”
• Caroline: “Would it hurt you to ask me to go to the game? You know I’m not going to say yes.” / Max: Do you want to go to the game-“

“YES.”

• “My father got me front row seats in the Inability to Love Awards,” a line met with equal parts laughter and awws.
• “Max, our seats are in a shantytown. I think someone tried to sell me a hubcap on the way up the stairs.”
• “Max, I haven’t been called a rich pig in five years!”
• “Ooh, here comes the nanny.” “Fran Drescher’s here!?“
• “Oh. My. God. This is where the 17th team in the league gets naked!”
• “Oh, you two sick? Stay away from me, I can’t get sick. When you’re 78 it takes about two days to go from sniffles to getting eaten by your cat.”
• Sophie’s tongueless aunt: “Do det what do det and do don’t det updet.”

Let me start by saying that it’s about time. I’m not sure how many 2 Broke Girls viewers realize this, but Garrett Morris was an original SNL cast member. With that in mind it’s almost shocking how little the show has decided to do with Earl. On a typical episode I can count all of his lines on one hand, and by the time the twenty-something minutes are up I still have a few fingers left over.

“The Sax Problem” that’s of concern this week is strictly Earl’s, and in much the same way Sophie and Oleg got the most character development in “And the Basketball Jones” last Wednesday he takes centre stage [no pun intended]. Given how often Morris has been relegated to the sidelines I was actually apprehensive about how he would do being given so much heavy lifting, but I never should have doubted him.

There are a few cracks made here and there about Earl’s age, which is pretty par for the course, but for once he’s not just an extremely old father figure of Max’s. It’s revealed that he used to be a part of a jazz band, The Early Birds, and that they’re going to be playing an anniversary show at a bar called Ruby’s. The first conflict and complication is the titular owner of said establishment, who didn’t invite him due to his having cheated on her with her sister.

Max and Caroline are able to talk Ruby down pretty effortlessly, and also solve the next problem: his not owning a saxophone. It’s the third issue that they appear to handle, but that is in fact 100% Earl.

Somewhat understandable for a man who hasn’t played a show in decades, he gets stage fright. Mores specifically, his performance anxiety stems from the fact that he used to perform high, and he hasn’t hit the hard stuff [heroin, in this case] in 30 years. Soon after this harsh realization dawns on him he escapes to the bathroom where he camps out for, as far as the show tells us, an uncomfortable amount of time.

While it’s Caroline stalling that inevitably brings him up on stage, what the show glosses over [apart from an offhand remark] is that the decision not to shoot up smack is entirely his own. Sure, the girls do their best to check up on him, but they never tell him to stay away from the junk. He returns from his conspicuous absence completely sober. Ultimately this episode nestles the story of one man’s commitment to staying clean within the confines of a TV show that leans pretty heavily on the comedy of a White girl scatting. Considering the material that he’s given Morris gives his performance 110%, and hopefully this is a sign of much more to come.

The tale of Sophie and Oleg’s struggle to conceive chugs steadily along, with fertility drugs being their latest effort to get a bun in her oven. A syringe of the stuff appears to be the show’s motivation for showcasing that route, with the prop obviously being mistaken for heroin. I should probably take the time to mention that this is some pretty dark subject matter, all things considering. Weed jokes get thrown around a lot, by Earl in particular, but actually quipping about heroin with a syringe on screen can get uncomfortable.

Lastly, and possibly leastly, near the end of the episode Caroline tells Max that she’s beginning to feel like she’ll never get the chance to do what she’s best at. While it’s always good to be reminded of their dream deferred, it’s also a reminder that we haven’t seen them work on that in weeks. They can talk about what they hope for all they want, but it would be nice to see them actually do something about it.

Current Total: $280.

New Total: $80. I’m actually pretty thrilled that there’s an obvious reason for the subtraction this time around. The $200 obviously went towards the “cheap sax” that Max found for Earl.

The Title Refers To: Earl’s problems regarding playing his saxophone sober in front of an audience.

Stray Observations:

• To start on an extremely high note, this is one of the best cold opens they’ve ever done. Caroline delivers a very special dessert [to the wrong couple] and Beth Behrs plays it extremely well-

• -that being said, these Stray Observations are like 80% pretty decent lines.
• “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you. I know I said I was cool with waiting but I wasn’t cool with it!“
• Max and Earl’s joint suicide pact: they smoke a joint and then kill themselves
• “Look out PTA meetings! I’ll bring the ‘P’, she’ll bring the ‘T&A.'”
• “Ah, this is a little awkward. But Sophie, I was unaware I’d be injecting your badonkadonk.”
• “Now there’s a heartwarming tableau that Norman Rockwell somehow missed.”
• “You always go straight to dead, Max. But thanks for sending the paramedic, I needed help finding my Apple TV remote.”
• “I just have to ask, you do think we’re going to get out of here one day?” / “Oh sure. In body bags.”
• Particularly notable: Jackée Harry’s Ruby is the only character besides Sophie to receive “whoos” upon entering a scene.
• “There’s only one old woman who scares me and his name is Steven Tyler.”
• “Hold my hoops!”
• “Earl, you played with Ella Fitzgerald?” / “It’s possible. Or else I talked to that picture. I did a lot of drugs.”
• “You know when someone else says something stupid but you’re embarrassed?” Too meta for me, Oleg.
• “Dammit, have I been living on the subway a-gain?”
• Beth Behrs does a pretty good rendition of “God Bless the Child”, but Garrett Morris doesn’t fake playing the saxophone very well for someone who studied at Juilliard.

Look, friendship is hard. I know that as well as anyone. In spite of the interconnectedness that allows you to read these words I’m penning in my North York basement apartment from anywhere in the world, the fact is that many of my peers find it hard to create meaningful relationships [just type “millennial” alongside some iteration of “lonely” into Google and see what comes up]. With that in mind it’s nice to see an episode focus on a problem so many people struggle with.

In particular the issue of starting friendships from scratch, in your twenties, is a daunting one. Compared to the kids you went to college with how strong is your foundation, really? It’s a question Caroline asks herself when Becky White [Diona Reasonover], a girl from Max’s past, arrives at the window to their cupcake store.Things get predictably more complicated when Becky invites Max out to drinks, pointedly ignoring Caroline, and Max skips out without much thought to her roommate. It’s uncomfortably real world for 2 Broke Girls, and many of us can empathize with feeling like you’re on the outside looking in.

To continue focusing on what I think is the strongest aspect of this episode, Caroline then attempts, out of very apparent jealousy, to make her own friends. What’s unfortunate is that her search is cut painfully short, with her jump straight into chummying up to patrons of the diner paying off almost immediately.

Honestly, I should’ve guessed that her falling in so quickly with Rachael and Cathy [Kathy?] was evidence that she was in fact being groomed to join a cult. I mean, the header image I put together showcases an extremely cult-like gathering. And really, while the entire plot surrounding Caroline and Max resisting indoctrination into an unnamed sect is amusing, it’s nowhere near as compelling as what I had just been discussing.

Yes, Mo Gaffney’s maternal cult leader Elaine is suitably off-putting, especially in how the audience appears to be just as enamoured with her as her followers [see the Stray Observations below], but her group is just a little too generically creepy. When it’s revealed that everyone at the mountain retreat they’ve gone to will more or less be required to have sex with her the entire thing becomes a wash. There’s a more engaging narrative out there where Caroline is actually tempted to join a cult and be a part of something bigger and greater, pushed away by a perceived betrayal on Max’s part, but that can’t be found anywhere here.

When the two girls are ultimately rescued by Oleg and Sophie, who Max texted to rescue them if anything went wrong, it’s just after an emotional beat that feels slightly unearned due to the diversion with the cult. To be fair it may lead to more potential conflict between the two, since Caroline’s question-

“Max, are you and I going to be like you and Becky one day?”

-and admission of-

“Am I going to be some waitress you used to know, because that would kill me.”

-are essentially pushed aside when the Eastern European couple drives up to them. Again, the insecurity and anxiety felt in platonic relationships hasn’t been nearly as explored as it could be, and they missed the chance to really delve into that. Chances are that with Becky’s one-off appearance here it’ll be some time before this particular facet of their friendship can be explored, but you never know. Here’s hoping.

Current Total: $80.

New Total: $80. So when Max and Caroline decided to leave Elaine tells them that only “friends” enjoy the free trip, and they will thus be charged. This sounds like a very real thing that happens to me, and in the end they escape after Max offers her body as “nature’s credit card”, only to be refused in disgust. It was a definite opportunity to tap back into their being, well, “2 Broke Girls”, debt and all. As it stands they neither earned or lost anything in this episode.

The Title Refers To: No new friends for Max or Caroline.

Stray Observations:

• The cold open this week was all about smart phones and the disconnect they can create, which is a fun tangential connection to the topic of friendship. It did make me wonder how Max and Caroline could afford smartphones, though.
• “Now you have one? Earl- three months ago you thought T-Mobil was a rapper.”
• “Max, I did not think you would still be alive. I owe you $10.”
• Max typically introduces Caroline as Taylor Swift’s slower cousin Randy.
• “Nice meeting you Brandy-” / “It’s Randy!”
• “So did you guys have fun tonight, or did you two grow apart-“
• “Fun, it’s so fun that you had fun.”
• “Guess what I’m doing?” / “Motivating me to look at resumes on Monster.com?”
• “Max, how’s this for my friend-making smile?” / “Do you have more teeth than me?”
• “The Yelp review specifically said I would be ignored by the wait staff.”
• “I’ve seen people with podcasts less desperate for approval.”
• “Yeah, the last invitation we got was to audition for porn.”
• So Elaine was dropping lines like-

“I’m so glad you all could make it. Oh, except Jerry. He’s getting Lasik. He should’ve listened, I told him to eat more kale. Kale is good for the eyes!”

• -and the audience was eating it up. It was really bizarre, but helped play up the idea that she was a charismatic person who could draw people to her.
• “Everyone gather round. Let’s have some mutual eye contact.”
• Elaine’s cult’s mantra: “My best is my best and that’s why I”m blessed.”
• Lady Marmalade is a dog with both seasonal depression and fibromyalgia.
• “And do not fear, before the night is over each of you will have the chance to make love with me.”
• “Ah, I’m sorry it took me so long to climax. I know I was ‘almost there’ for quite some time.”
• Max ate $700 worth of shrimp. Surprising no one, least of all her.
• Sophie was once in a cult called “Avon”.

Next week 2 Broke Girls makes its way to Thursday to join CBS ratings juggernaut The Big Bang Theory, which actually segues really well into a lot of what this review is covering. See, while the latter has absolutely killed it for the network it’s also received a fair amount of flak, primarily from the types of people it claims to represent. General nerd news site Bleeding Cool referred to it as “the television show that hates you” back in 2011 and hasn’t stopped since, and I actually took time on this very blog to cover an episode that featured some particularly divisive promos.

All of that is to say that CBS as a network doesn’t have a stellar track record when it comes to appealing to what I’m going to call “nerds” from this point on [Supergirl not withstanding, which I’ve only heard excellent things about]. Couple that with 2 Broke Girls not having a stellar track record with most topics and we find ourselves here, tonight, with me dreading every second leading up to this episode, tempered by a bizarre sense of excitement.

It turns out I hated it.

As I had feared all along, this episode paints nerds with a brush wide enough to be a roller, with Han’s friend Ned’s [Dominic Burgess] first lines being “You know my name?”, followed by a rapid pull on his inhaler.

That’s followed up by Han being hounded by Eunice, his “Super Nintend-ho”, who fell for him hard after he saved her from a burning building and proposed to her [in-game, of course]. While viewers may initially think that the diner owner is going to get lucky with yet another conventionally unattractive woman [see: “And the Kilt Trip”] this time around his disinterest in, bordering on outright fear of, her is what’s played for laughs.

My latter two gripes are vastly more personal, with the first being that Sophie and Oleg need to move into Max and Caroline’s due to ongoing renovations in their shared apartment. This is seen as a difficulty, and it’s upsetting to me because, well, I’m poor. Not that I’m working in food service or anything, but I’ve literally never lived in a space even half as large as their studio apartment in my adult life. Like, I get that it has to be a little bigger due to the restrictions of the three-camera sitcom format, recording live, but it’s massive. Hearing about all of the things “doing better than old Caroline” [Sophie’s unborn child included] is just rich [pun 100% intended] from someone who lives in a living space with a full kitchen and a horse.

The last one is that Max being the face of Ned’s video game, Death Bitch, feels altogether too similar Chloe being the basis of Shitagi Nashi, a Japanese comic book that translates to Tall Slut No Panties–

-and honestly any reference to the vastly superior Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 is always going to raise my sodium to dangerous levels. I began another review of 2 Broke Girls listing all of the similarities between the two shows [the relationship between Max and Caroline and Chloe and June were shockingly similar when first starting out] and am still not over the Don’t Trust the B—-‘s cancellation back in 2013. I’m not sure I ever will be.

So, yeah. I wasn’t a huge fan of the show this week.

In general, deriding nerds is always an ugly thing to watch, and at this point feels incredibly dated. Not to say that there’s a broad acceptance of everyone who falls underneath that particular banner, but the increasing popularity of comic book movies, among other things, is proof that things have changed a lot since Revenge of the Nerds. To the point where Max’s admission that she wants to attend GamesCon because she’s “really into video games” and “[has] known since [was] was ten” doesn’t feel shocking, or even surprising. I mean, both that and getting free swag.

Having Max and Caroline get into GameCon by working as booth babes brings up a very real, very uncomfortable aspect of an industry that appears to cater [at least with their flashier events and announcements] almost exclusively to men. Unfortunately that, or Death Bitch itself, isn’t used as a springboard to explore sexism in gaming, although it does lead to one of a handful of moments that I legitimately liked:

Beth Behr’s physical comedy can’t save every episode, but it is consistently delightful.

The big conflict, if that’s what you want to call it, is Ned basing Death Bitch’s Immorta on Max’s likeness, and the legal recourse that results from her not giving her permission. Of course, it is brought up by studio owner Tony [Bryan Callen] that she can’t afford a lawyer, which I suppose is true. Ultimately the eponymous duo [Yak Girl was based on Caroline] haggle their way into a gig dressing up as their respective characters and taking pictures with their adoring fans.

Cue my next favourite moment[s] from this trainwreck of an episode:

Honestly, I was almost hoping we wouldn’t see it because I was thinking about drawing fan art of what Yak Girl might actually look like.

That Yak Girl costume is the best thing that the 2 Broke Girls department have ever created, and probably will ever create.

After Caroline fends off the Han-gry [see, I can make bad jokes too] Eunice and ends up breaking off her hindquarters the episode ends, more or less. It’s never really explained if they continued with what they were doing, though it is implied that they were fired. It’s also never explained if the ostensibly successful Death Bitch will have any further effect on either of their lives [it’s far more likely than something more niche like a Japanese comic]. No, this episode wraps up with not much more gained than a cardboard cutout of Immorta that, if permanently added to the girls’ apartment or the Williamsburg Dinner, will be the most significant evidence that this show actually progresses from week to week.

Current Total: $80.

New Total: $380. Max and Caroline also bargained for Tony to give them each an iPad, which Forbes tells me in an article from 2014 is $249 at the cheapest. I would chalk the extra three Benjamins to them doing their actual booth babe work, but that also feels iffy given how they magically acquired their uniforms [slutty boots and a very small black dress, the latter of which leads to an A+ back and forth between the two girls].

The Title Refers To: Booth babes, defined by the Geek Feminism wiki as “is a “women (mostly women, with the occasional exception) employed by brands to staff booths at trade shows,” which is what Max and Caroline were for at least a little while.

Stray Observations:

• In Earl’s day they didn’t play video games, opting to drop acid and visit the aquarium to visit other worlds.
• “Do you think I should shave my back for tomorrow for GameCon?”
• “We just have to wear these dressers, look hot, and hand out some flyers. Like a sexy Jehovah’s Witness.”
• “This dress sets women back further than HBO’s Ballers.”
• Han has dubbed his gamer crew his “Han-tourage”.
• GamesCom is sponsored by Virgin. Ha ha ha.
• “If this guy’s having a release party it’s probably into an old sock.”
• “All she’s doing is drinking from a flask and punching people in the face!” If I hadn’t given up video games for Lent [happy Ash Wednesday, everyone!] I would totally be down to play Death Bitch.
• I loved Yak Girl so much she gets a shout-out down here as well.
• Between of the the nerds having some sort of congenital defect, which appeared to be laugh fodder, and Eunice saying that she “convinced [her] sister to sign [her] out this weekend” this is a particularly disgusting episode, writing-wise.
• “This is gonna make that girl I’m catfishing real jealous.”
• “That wasn’t sex you were having in front of us?” Caroline is shocked, but honestly I’m more curious than anything else.

Midway through its fifth season and 2 Broke Girls has finally done it; Max and Caroline, and consequently the show itself, now have a brand new direction. Ever since Season 4 ended with them remembering their dream of owning and running their own cupcake business things have been pretty shaky, narratively. For the most part the two girls have just been killing time, not even really trying to make any extra money.

The best part about the apparent arc they’re going to be starting on come next week’s episode is how far out of left field it is. It doesn’t have anything to do with raising a certain amount of money and isn’t connected to their cupcake business at all. No, this is a fresh, surprising take, and one I’ll get to after I go through the usual recap.

Just this past month I saw through Facebook that a friend of mine was attending an event called “Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids Toronto” which is, after further research, exactly what it sounds like. Upon mentioning it to yet another friend they recommended the documentary Mortified Nation [which you can find on Netflix] which is essentially the same thing on a much larger scale. It was the first I had ever heard about this deeply personal form of entertainment, though to be fair I haven’t heard of most things.

Mortified Nation came out in 2013, so it’s no real surprise that 2 Broke Girls began to tap into this particular brand of live performance [especially taking into consideration how long it took them to cover escape rooms]. That being said, it actually leads to some of the most entertaining moments of this episode.

It all begins with Caroline being asked out to see a “storytelling show” where men and women share their childhood experiences to an audience. Her date, Adam [Miles Fisher] is the first performer we get to see, and he is, well-

“Rachel Mooney, a popular girl, pulled down my pants. That’s right, I got dance-pantsed!”

-he’s bad and he should feel bad. Max ends up tagging along, which sets the two of them back $40. When Adam ends up flaking on the rest of their date, ostensibly only asking her out to put more bodies in seats for his part of the show, Max begins recounting how much more terrible Caroline’s life is when the emcee tunes in and asks that she share her life story.

It’s $50, so of course they spring for it.

After the woman before her wraps up her story-

“And, after it was all said and done, I looked at my vagina. And my vagina looked at me. And we shared a knowing glance. It was as if she was giving me permission to tell her story.”

-while also allowing us a beautiful panning shot that exhibits the entire cast’s reactions, it’s time for Caroline to take the stage. It’s here where the extremely small conflict presents itself. Due to the young Ms. Channing living such a truly horrific life [it’s not that bad, but anyway] her story is a gigantic bummer. Max helps her lighten the whole piece by interspersing jokes, and standing behind the mic Caroline has to decided whether or not to include them.

There’s a brief moment, pre-cringe, when you think she’s actually going to use her roommate’s material, but thankfully it never happens. While her attempting comedy and ultimately bombing this show may have had more entertainment value, 2 Broke Girls ultimately opts for a more sincere and genuinely touching moment, which is actually a move I can’t fault them for. The writers’ room has gotten a lot of comedic mileage out of Beth Behrs’ ability to botch anything to great effect, but here they allow Caroline to have a win for once.

I’m also never going to complain anytime Max gets shushed.

While it’s expected that the live audience be moved by her tale, the rest of the cast is likewise impressed. Not only that, but so is Nina Spiegel, a studio exec for Warner Bros. who believes that her story could actually become a feature length film.

Max helping Caroline with her story, and perhaps even wanting to be a part of her performance, never ends up being addressed well. That said, when Caroline is to be flown out to Hollywood in first class she trades in her ticket for two in coach, asking her best friend to join her. Just because they couldn’t tell a story together doesn’t mean that they’re not going to try to keep moving through life side by side. It’s a really exciting turn of events, and even if the end up back in the Williamsburg Diner by the end of next week’s episode they’ll still have been offered another opportunity at success. Things will have changed for them, and will hopefully affect the rest of this season.

As for Sophie and Oleg, due to not being able to conceive [not for lack of trying] and failing to find a suitable surrogate mother for a paltry $200, they’ve decided to adopt. It’s been legitimately interesting watching their attempts to become parents, and having them turn to this option is another pleasant surprise.

Current Total: $380.

New Total: $390. $40 for both of them at their first show, with Caroline earning $50 for her performance, accounts for the $10 bump. What it doesn’t take into account, however, are the drinks they had. Though maybe those were included with the price of entry, which I sort of doubt given the kind of gig it was.

The Title Refers To: Storytelling shows. They’re all the rage now, really.

Stray Observations:

• I don’t for a second believe that Max has never hit a kid.
• Earl has his own methods when it comes to refusing to donate to charity: “I’m sorry, I have diabetes. And I’m not stupid. Move it along.”
• Caroline on “dry shopping”: “Why not buy one Apple Watch when I can not buy two?”
• “My mom drank so much with me inside that I was born wearing a shirt saying ‘It’s Five O’Clock somewhere.'”
• “Can we all just admit that vaping is smoking!?”
• “You live our stories that we live to hear.” Yeah, everything about the show just oozes with cheese.
• “Well I know that I’m entitled to my truths, and how my truths make me feel.” Just the kind of postmodern thinking that my co-writer Gordon loathes so much.
• The emcee works for Avis at his day job: “Remember, you have a story to tell. And sometimes renting a car is cheaper than a long-term lease.”
• Han really thought that his appearance on the Brooklyn Small Business podcast had paid off in a big way.
• “Sorry, I was watching a YouTube video on how to make spaghetti. Boy, I was way off.” Favourite line of the night.
• “Pregnant 12 times? It must be like saloon doors down there.”
• “Which one says, ‘Just because I’m at my bottom doesn’t mean I can’t wear a nice top’?”
• “You don’t forget the day that you lose yourself.”
• “Caroline, I know you said you never would, but you touched me.”
• “I think sometimes people like to be sad. That’s why there’s Adele.” If Max had just watched Inside Out she would’ve known this.
• “The Caroline Channing story deserves to live on the big screen for 1-2 weeks. Then on-demand for eternity.”
• Oleg makes Sophie consolation gnocchi for not being able to find someone to get gnocched up.
• “You can’t pass up a meet ‘n’ greet! You can’t pass up any kind of meat, you’re anemic!”

The multi-cam sitcom isn’t exactly at the peak of its popularity right now, The Big Bang Theory reaching its 200th episode being a pretty extreme outlier. If you watch TV regularly at all you’ll have noticed that more and more sitcoms are trying to be the next, say, Community, as opposed to a worthy successor to How I Met Your Mother. A big part of that has to do with this older format being seen as looking cheaper, and that’s particularly true when it comes to a change in setting.

Not counting Max and Caroline’s spur-of-the-moment jaunt to Paris, which was completely off-camera, there has been at least one instance where the girls have left Brooklyn in a noticeable way. Honestly, it’s hard to forget that lambo sitting on the beach–

-because it was a legitimately great set. I mean, they had sand. It more than stands up to a lot of the exterior shots of Ted Mosby and co. exiting McLaren’s, or getting into hijinks in front of a brownstone. The unfortunate thing is that their other excursions don’t live up to that standard.

Sure, just three episodes ago Max and Caroline walked through a forest, but on the whole a change of setting doesn’t really mean anything exciting. Typically a trip to a cabin in the woods means just the cabin, or having Rhode Island mostly be cheap hotel rooms and high school classrooms. While last week’s episode had me very excited to see the duo hit LA I knew at the time that we wouldn’t be regaled with shots of them driving past palm trees with the top down. It would’ve been nice, though.

Instead 2 Broke Girls provides us with three new sets: a hotel room, hotel bar/restaurant, and a Hollywood exec’s office. I’m not saying that the production crew needed to really glam it up, but a little glam, maybe? At the very least hiring a Johnny Depp impersonator to make a brief cameo appearance as opposed to just name-dropping the actor would have been cool, and pretty cost-effective.

While Caroline is in Hollywood to try to get her movie off the ground Max is . . . just there. They both meet Lawrence [Alec Mapa],

who I’m sure we’ll see more of soon. Max also bumps into Randy [Ed Quinn], and the two of them end up doing what consenting adults sometimes do. The big conflict in this episode revolves around Perry [Chris Williams], who owns the office I mentioned up above. He’s not actually all that interested in the proposed film, and Max ends up reacting to this as she does to most things.

That’s “not how you do things in Hollywood”, and it looks like she may have torpedoed Caroline’s chances at having her life story up on the silver screen. That is until Randy steps in and, as Perry’s lawyer, convinces the film exec to pay them a little more attention. It’s all very neat, but does introduce the idea that this guy wants to be there for Max, which is a relief to her given how interested she had been in him dropping her a line.

Even more interesting than Max’s new beau, which I don’t see lasting longer than a few episodes, is how the writers’ room was able to avoid the entire show revolving around the titular duo while they’re away. A hasty conversation over the phone about having her future child look like her causes Sophie to flip-flop on her decision last week to adopt, and suddenly she’s back to wanting to do things the traditional way, opting to go to a healer based in LA. I definitely feel a little betrayed given how I gave the show props for going this route, but it does make sense. 2 Broke Girls has invested too much in its other cast members to simply jettison them for two or more episodes, and even had the cold open set in the diner instead of just starting things off on the west coast. They can send Max and Caroline away, but they can’t ditch the whole crew.

In the end this sitcom seems invested in following the Hollywood arc for at least a little while longer. I’m not confident that it’ll be the springboard out of poverty they’re ostensibly looking for, but I don’t think they’re bound to find one before the last season’s finale. At the very least things are more interesting than they’ve ever been, and I look forward to seeing if the film is ever greenlit, and if the rest of the gang at the Williamsburg Diner make their way over to sunny Los Angeles.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $390. When they said “all expenses paid” it looks like they meant it.

The Title Refers To: Oh, right. Max’s baggage is lost, but it ultimately contributes nothing whatsoever to the plot. She gets it back a little later on.

Stray Observations:

• “Ha, I knew you two weren’t going to LA! I knew you were just pulling my chain!” Oh Han, ye of little faith. And no, that wasn’t a short joke.
• Also Max registered Han as a sex offender at city hall which is pretty messed up.
• “This is so sweet! Is that why they call it that?” That’s some live-action-Disney-show-level humour right there.
• “These are the only 12 steps anyone’s ever gonna get me to take.”
• “You were supposed to be in a room with two queens. Well, three if I was in it.” Oh, Lawrence. You card.
• “Look, not everyone in this hotel is gay. But Claude is hands-down-ma’-pants the gayest.”
• “Can I buy you a drink? [. . . ] A house?” Randy is rich.
• “It’s not the agency. I called to talk to Max and got Caroline’s My Life Doesn’t Suck Anymore podcast.”
• Alongside Lawrence this episode also features Quan [Nikki Tuazon], Perry’s disdainful receptionist. Two [additional to Han] Asians in an episode of 2 Broke Girls without any jokes relying on racial stereotypes. I’m calling that a plus in my book.
• “Absolutely, set in stone! We’re so excited.”
• Nina, who is Caroline’s agent of sorts, tells her that “You need to look broke. Busted. Discarded from society.” Which is fair, because you would never think she was living below the poverty level at first glance.
• “Maybe she’ll smooth everything over. Like everyone does here with their faces.”
• “Perry, what’s happening here, why is there bread on your table-“
• “I didn’t want to come on too strong. Should I not have taken dating advice from David Spade?”
• “Hey, we got a lady that looks like you back at home.”
• Unforunately Lawrence is unable to land the part of “a Filipino gay general manager of a hotel who used to be straight.” Guy just can’t catch a break.
• I’m really regretting shelving my “Pop Culture Put-Downs” feature [first seen here] because this episode was rife with them. Among the many dissed celebs there were mentions of: John Travolta, Keira Knightley, Kevin Hart, and Shannon Doherty.

Have you ever watched an episode of 2 Broke Girls and thought to yourself, “That episode ended too soon”? The latest installment of Max and Caroline’s Hollywood adventures continues this week, and somehow manages to feel much shorter than its 21-minute runtime.

A large part of that is because the show largely eschews showing for telling, with two big moments taking place entirely off camera and only referenced after the fact. While this can be effective, the result is ultimately more confusing than anything else. For sitcoms the primary goal is to make your viewers laugh, but the second priority of telling a good story comes swiftly behind that. A lack of emphasis on that aspect is what leads to viewers being confused as to whether or not a love interest has been written out or not.The Caroline Channing film is still well on its way to actually existing, and it’s time that screenwriters entered the picture. I’ll openly admit that I don’t know much about how Hollywood works, and so was unsure if the aforementioned screenwriters typically meet up with the men and women that biopics are about beforehand. Either way, apart from the wonderfully bubbly Leslie [Alison Rich, who unfortunately doesn’t appear again] the primary takeaway from their meeting with Caroline is that Max’s character won’t be in the film.

There’s actually a fair amount of complexity surrounding this conflict, with Max initially miffed she’s asked not to be present for the discussion and later having to accept that she’s been cut out of the story. Her primary outlet for keeping her mind off of all this is Randy, who she’s still seeing, and auditioning for The Price is Right. She’s never been one to stick around when she’s not wanted [that’s why she “hightailed it out of [her] mother’s womb”], but also doesn’t want to drag her friend down.

On the other side of things Caroline has to be as easy to work with as possible to ensure her film is made while also coping with the fact that Max is spending far more time with Randy than with her. There’s also the addition of Bob, a Hollywood relic that Max’s sort-of-boyfriend [they’re not putting labels on it] sets her up with. The audiences’s reaction to seeing George Hamilton [who?] on-stage was pretty telling as far as who the show’s primary demographic is.

Sophie is also still around, appearing onstage to particularly energetic whoops, while the diner continues to chug along, more or less, without its only two waitresses.

The first big event that takes place completely off-camera is Caroline’s wild night out with Bob in Vegas, during which he “lost $50,000 and somehow Faye Dunaway’s Oscar.” This is a perfect example of when a single camera format would have worked wonders, with a quick cutaway to their raucous evening that isn’t possible when filming before a live studio audience. The inclusion of that gag certainly isn’t necessary, but it would’ve been nice to have any kind of lead-in to it happening.

While in Vegas Bob imparts his centuries of wisdom [they make a lot of old jokes this episode] to Caroline, which has the effect of her running to find Max, who has just been picked out for The Price is Right. She asks her best friend to step away from a chance to star on a gameshow and instead help argue for her inclusion on the film. It’s one of those classic “Max and Caroline are friends!” moments, and leads up to the next scene the audience doesn’t get to see.

The follow-up meeting with the screenwriters is likewise skipped over, which is a lot more fine, what with the vastly less entertainment to mine from it. Max thanks Caroline for fighting to keep her in the movie and her life and things wrap up. Both scenes being excised is a big part of what makes it feel like the episode is short for time, as well as the weird resolution to Bob [he leaves on a helicopter and Caroline cries out after him, because of course] and lack of resolution for Randy, who ostensibly will be back around next week. This week actually had a far better narrative structure than most, and kept me engaged with what was going on, but ended up feeling rushed for whatever reason.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $390. See my “all expenses paid” comment in my last review.

The Title Refers To: An exchange between Bob and Caroline:

“I don’t need fake friends, I have Max.”

“That’s what Wesley Snipes said about Jane Fonda.”

“They’re not friends.”

“You bet your ass they’re not.”

It’s a really weird line to title this episode with, at least in my opinion.

Stray Observations:

• No Lawrence in this episode, but there’s honestly no room for him.
• “I just wanna tell Earl about the pot sitch out here. He’ll think it’s high-larious.” Groan.
• I really want to know if they got a stunt double for Caroline’s fall-

• “Max, you’re going out with Randy again? I’ve barely seen you since we got here. And I’ve seen David Schwimmer four times.”
• “Writers are actors who gave up, so, they’re allowed to eat.”
• “That’s so unprofessional.” / “Right, like I’m the one who has to stay 500 feet away from Fred Savage.” Leslie and Jason, the other screenwriter, have fun.
• “I have an appointment to stand in line for a little thing called Price is Right. Y’ever heard of it? [laughs] You know you have-” Arguably one of the best line-readings Kat Dennings has ever done on the show.
• JLaw wants to play Caroline in what’s sure to be a brave “no makeup role”.
• Cue the old jokes-
• “I think that’s the very first Bob.”
• “If me and Randy are May-December you two are May-dead.”
• “I’m not gonna sleep with God’s college roommate to get ahead in Hollywood!”
• “That man sure knows how to make an exit. Not from life, but, from everything else-“
• “We’ve got a lot of 12-year-old boys playing sick at home, how long can you two jump up and down?” The Price is Right producer knows her audience.
• “Carpool and . . . fluffernutter . . . because soccer, right?” Sophie’s attempts to act like a stay-at-home mom from the Midwest.
• I actually found the cutaways to the diner a lot of fun, as Max left a series of Home Alone-style traps in Han’s office, “each one more fiendishly clever than the last.”

Money has always been an integral part of 2 Broke Girls, and this episode had me thinking quite a bit about the show’s budget. Well into its fifth season and having passed the 100th episode milestone some time ago, it’s a show that CBS has some confidence in, albeit one that’s barely beating Mike and Molly in ratings, a show that is currently airing its final season. With all that said, I began wondering about how much money the network was willing to throw its way.

Almost as if reading my comments about the limited settings this three camera sitcom has to offer, and with the sole intent of having me eat my words, “And the Great Escape” is the closest the show has been to feeling like it doesn’t take place in front of a live studio audience. While that’s not necessarily a hallmark of a great episode, it’s impressive to say the least.

The first, pictured above, is Randy’s house. While the interior is nothing special, it’s the fact that production also created an exterior year that really made an impression on me. The sand and plants are a really nice touch, and it even offers an opportunity for some great physical comedy on Beth Behrs’ part [her greatest strength, in this reviewer’s opinion].

The second is the Hollywood sign below, which is particularly notable because of how big it is. Having Max and Caroline walk around near the bottom of the letters hid how large they actually were, and the wide shot pictured is one the most visually exciting that the show has ever done.

As far as the actual narrative of the episode itself, there are ups and downs, as usual. The A-plot is arguably Caroline trying to get in touch with Jennifer Lawrence, who past episodes have hinted would be playing her in her riches-to-rags biopic, for the actress to see if she “digs [her] vibe”. They say her name [usually in the form of J. Law] a lot, though it’s not like any audiences were surprised when she never showed. As with most television, big celebrity appearances are advertised well ahead of time, and there was never anything akin to the media push that people like Martha Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, and yes, even 2Chainz received.

Max’s storyline is still largely centred on Randy, who unfortunately isn’t much to write about. He’s affable enough as a character, sure, but really isn’t very interesting. Things are moving full steam ahead with him and Max, and she almost says the L-word when talking to Caroline about him. This is all played up to make her taking care of his dog Bruno be that much of a big deal.

The two storylines intersect when Bruno runs out the door that Caroline left open. Their search brings them beneath the Hollywood sign and a conflict immediately arises when Caroline would rather FaceTime J. Law instead of search for Randy’s dog. She ends up stuffing her phone down the front of her pants to dissuade Max from getting at it, but to no avail [I’m sure the dozen remaining Maxoline shippers were thrilled]. Max takes the phone and hangs up on the Academy Award-winner.

There’s also a cannibal serial killer named Walter Gary Vance on the loose to really raise he stakes, but is overall pretty inconsequential.

While the episode closes and centres on Max and Randy admitting how much they like each other, in their own unique way, what concerned me is how much they diminish Caroline’s issues. J. Law ends up passing on her film, and realistically her involvement was probably one of the largest factors to it becoming a reality. It’s all swept under the rug, really, and Max never really apologizes for it. The high point for Caroline is Sophie giving her flowers as some sort of peace offering, only for the Polish woman to yell “Mind your own business, bitch!” in her face.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $390. Yeah, this isn’t changing anytime soon.

The Title Refers To: Bruno escaping from home. I would include Walter Gary Vance in this as well, except that it’s never explicitly stated that he’s escaped from anywhere. Considering that he’s revealed to be Randy’s neighbour makes it’s hard for me to say that he has any sort of thematic connection to the episode title.

Stray Observations:

• “If you see Burt Reynolds tell him that I have his belt.” The audience really loved this line from Earl, but honestly I don’t get it.
• One of a handful of high point moments was the cut from the diner, where the gang are listening to Max and Caroline regaling them with live coverage of a red carpet event, to their hotel room where the two girls are getting drunk off of tiny bottles of liquor.
• “I feel bad lying to Han, I mean he’s already been catfished three times this year.” To be fair, two of those three times it was Max.
• “This one’s like licking a beet’s undercarriage.” Randy’s pressed juice gifts are appreciated, if not enjoyed.
• “Wish I had my vibe. They wouldn’t let me bring it on the plane.”
• Another great moment: Sophie entering holding a bundle of burning sage, the fire alarm being heard in the short moment the door is open.”
• “I’m going for Grace Kelly, not Woody Harrelson.”
• Sophie is trying to be nice to Caroline to cleanse her aura, and she describes the latter’s behaviour as “triggering” her. I could write more about that, but maybe some other time.
• “I’m looking down on all of LA.” / “Oh, I’m doing that from here.”
• Caroline gave Randy a look like his wifi password was difficult, but I listened to it once and wrote it all down and it’s not that hard: “125bD–63fF521”
• “Not sure but you can get a baby for $80 on the dark web.” I will never not enjoy jokes about the dark web.
• “You are coming with me! Randy loves Bruno and I lo- like Randy.”
• “Can cannibals climb?” / “Well they’re not called climbables, so that’s good.”
• Sophie shows up at the end of the episode wearing a bindi. I’m ambivalent of how to feel about that, so here’s both a point and counterpoint to consider.

You know what I realized after two whole weeks off of writing reviews? I don’t have to watch these episodes anymore! No, I don’t mean that the show is ending. 2 Broke Girls has actually been renewed for a sixth season alongside a slew of CBS’ other programs. What I mean is that a quick visit to their website will tell you everything you need to know about the next episode.

All of the images I use for the banner graphics above my reviews are taken from slideshows on CBS.com, which are always accompanied by captions. This week’s, for example, contains such gems as:

• Randy’s therapist breaks some bad news to Max.
• Max drowns her sorrows in tiny bottles of booze.
• Max listens to what Sophie’s guru has to say about her recent breakup.
• Max, Caroline, and Sophie return to Brooklyn after an extended stay in Hollywood.

You could also just read the synopsis given underneath the very first promo photo, which tells us that:

The girls near the end of their Hollywood adventure, which finds Caroline signing away the film rights to her life story while Max deals with the fall-out after her L.A. steady, Randy, breaks up with her via his therapist. Plus, Sophie continues to try everything she can to get pregnant on the next episode of 2 Broke Girls entitled “And The Pity Party Bus.”

Which isn’t to say that other TV shows don’t also use similar write-ups to hype their upcoming episodes, they do, but they also tend to preserve a bit of the mystery. A conflict is typically mentioned, as opposed to the conflict [Max gets dumped!] and the eventual conclusion [the girls return to NY!]. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you could skim a dozen or so photos instead of tuning in for twenty-something minutes of TV every Thursday night. You could always just do that and then read my reviews!

To be fair, the episode lays it out in the first few seconds that the girls will be back in Williamsburg before we know it. Caroline closes out her deal to sell her life story while talking to Max about how serious it’s going with Randy, which foreshadows the breakup that immediately follows. The three of them are sitting in the same hotel bar/restaurant they first met when they’re joined by Elliot Charles, Randy’s therapist [played by John Michael Higgins, probably best known now for being the Pitch Perfect commentator who’s not Elizabeth Banks].

Though I’ve always loved him as Professor Whitman on Community. [Season 1, Episode 3 “Introduction to Film”]

Between there and the diner there are only two more short stops, with the first dedicated to closure. Unlike her breakup with Deke, which offered so little resolution that audiences of the show were unsure things had even ended between them, things with Randy are given a definitive end. Deciding to take a party bus back to the airport to cheer up her best friend, Caroline directs their driver to Randy’s house and forces the . . .

. . . incredibly well-built gentleman . . .

. . . to explain why he chose to break things off. He tells her that “the truth” is that he “[likes her] too much.” And that’s that. Later they drop by to see Audra, a healer, who is supposed to be helping Sophie get pregnant. Instead she spends much more time helping Max with her feelings, still raw from the day’s events, with a hokey procedure involving literally bottling [okay, jarring] her feelings.

All in all, it feels like a way of amending what happened late in Season 3 of 2 Broke Girls, even if it is an entire two years late. Of course it would help if we really felt anything about Randy, who doesn’t quite hold up a candle to Deke as far as being likeable or interesting. Still, I suppose it’s the thought that counts. Max has an important relationship come to an end and the show devotes a good amount of screentime to allow both her and the audience to come to terms with it. It’s not perfect by any means, but it’s an improvement in storytelling at the very least.

As a capper to the episode, it turns out that Sophie has been pregnant for the past three months! This is really exciting news, blunted slightly by the fact that she’s been drinking this entire time [most recently five martinis on the plane ride over]. That unfortunate fact aside, it’ll be interesting to see how the show treats this going forward, and if the show has room for a infant actor and the chops to appropriately deal with Sophie and Oleg as parents. Max and Caroline [and Sophie, I guess] coming back to Williamsburg coincides with 2 Broke Girls‘ return to television, and I’m hoping that the time away has given the writers’ room the time they need for a full return to the status quo to feel new and fresh, instead of just more of the same.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $90. Ostensibly spent on the party bus. It’s also heavily implied by Caroline that they’re going to be coming into money within the next month or so, so I’ll be watching out for that in the coming episodes.

The Title Refers To: Max’s breakup resulted in her feeling sorry for herself, which she spent doing, in part, on a party bus. Honestly, this is one of my favourite 2 Broke Girls episode titles ever, and I only wish they’d spent more time on it.

Stray Observations:

• “Earl, I told you to mop the entrance! That floor is dirtier than Bob Saget at a Comedy Central Roast.” Han has gotten snippy with the girls away.
• “I don’t think any of us are gonna make it past tomorrow. Han’s walkin’ around like he owns the place.” / “I do own the place!!!“
• There’s a whole bit where Caroline talks to Max about how she’s always using the f-word, which feels off if only because it’s so obviously false. I half expected them to opt for some old-fashioned bleeped out swears [a la the most recent episode of Black-ish], but instead they opt for a non-censored “bitch”.
• Mao, acupuncturist to the stars. Tag-line: “He’s poked more famous people than John Meyer”
• This episode also feels like a slap in the face to Maxoline shippers. First with Max saying that she was only bisexual for a week, but mostly because she was hitchhiking. Then with her cracking: “No guy, but now I have a middle-aged lesbian lover.”
• It’s really hard to shock Caroline ever since she saw a mouse dry-humping a potato on her couch.
• The last time Max was really angry she tore off an eyebrow. Caroline, seconds later: “And it took me a long time [dramatic pause] to grow it back.”
• “I rarely say this to a lady, but, ‘Put a baby in me!‘”
• “You know what they say, absence makes . . . me have to masturbate almost constantly.” My favourite-ever line from Oleg, I think.

In a little bit of a continuation from last week’s review, tonight’s episode could easily be summed up with “Max and Caroline’s friendship is tested very little, and unsurprisingly manages to remain intact.” While that’s par for the course for quite a few episodes along the years, with a bit of a shakeup in their relationship occurring every so often, what’s interesting is the showrunner’s decision to turn to this narrative just as the status quo is reestablished.

Yes, Max and Caroline are back to waitressing at the diner, and almost immediately the impending $250K payday from Caroline selling her movie rights starts being thrown around. The thing is, it immediately starts to collide with the goal of the first few seasons: the girls’ cupcake business. It’s so strange to see that being brought up again, especially when it hasn’t been brought up since Episode 10 of this season [and even then, it was simply to have Max bump into an old friend].

Their cupcake business has played so small a part that when the studio audience gasps in response to Sophie asking Max and Caroline if they “know any bakers” I was initially confused. Why would they be offended by that question? When was the last time they baked anything, let alone sold any baked goods at all?

I suppose that Max’s Homemade Cupcakes taking a backseat to the rest of their zany adventures adds to their eventual [and short-lived] conflict over what to do with the money. That disagreement is introduced by Martin Channing [Steven Weber], Caroline’s imprisoned father who we haven’t seen since late in Season 2 [seriously, it has been three actual years since the last time he was on the show]. While there are some pretty entertaining diversions with the musical he wrote as a part of his therapy in prison, he’s primarily there to be a wedge that [temporarily] keeps the girls apart.

Yes, I’m belabouring the point a little, but the truth is that things never escalate all that far. Martin Channing tells Max that the $250K is exactly what his daughter needs to start a new life and that “this is her big chance, you just gotta let her go” [ie. to Wall Street, to make it big]. While she never explicitly states how she’s feeling, Kat Dennings acts exactly the way someone would when being accused of being the anchor that holds people back: she lashes out. There’s a bit of a fight involving cake batter that culminates in Han getting the majority of it in his face, and not long afterwards Caroline is asking her father what he told her friend.

While that plot ends as it always does, with Max and Caroline staying committed to their friendship and business partnership, what I have to give the writers credit for is how much they’re calling back to what 2 Broke Girls was at its outset. Chestnut [their horse] makes an appearance, and  they even muse aloud how “Five years ago we were sitting on Chestnut with our iced coffees.” They even said at that time that $250K was all they needed to start their business, and now here they are with that money coming to them in a fairly short time and the shop already in place.

While the Wharton graduate has no exact plans as to how to spend their money, it’s her streetwise roommate who comes up with “Dessert Bar”, a way to combine their current business model with the tiny bottles from the minibar they enjoyed so much on the west coast. It’s an intriguing idea, albeit one that ignores the hurdles necessary when it comes to obtaining a liquor license. That said it’s still a return to the Max and Caroline doing what they always set out to do, and while it’s not the freshest direction it somehow feels right to have them return to chasing that particular dream.

This episode also has Sophie and Oleg wanting to find out the sex of their baby. They ultimately don’t, which is fine.

Current Total: $90.

New Total: $72. Okay, so Sophie and Oleg hire the girls to make them a “gender reveal cake”, but Caroline botches it by forgetting the food colouring. The Eastern European couple refuses to pay them, which is how I’m accounting for the missing 18 bucks.

The Title Refers To: I suppose this could refer to the gender reveal cake that I mentioned up above, though it honestly comprises such a small part of this episode. That’s what I’m going with, though. The expectant parents want to be shown the sex of their child, but not verbally told.

Stray Observations:

• Han admits that he’s “been wanting another Asian in the mix for some time!” While I want this in almost all media, this show may be the exception.
• He also claims that Freddie Prinze Jr. works more than Max and Caroline, which was a pretty sick burn.
• This week Earl is so old he can’t shake his head.
• Caroline’s means to save money are pretty bad, actually [using their bath mat for toilet paper?]. Maybe she should head over to /r/frugal for some pointers.
• “If those inmates weren’t hardened criminals before, they will be once they see you wearing that-“
• Honestly, the musical numbers are not as bad as those I’ve seen in other sitcoms.
• “Steel bars; steel bars on our balls / Steel bars on this jail, and there ain’t no bail / And nobody caaaallllllls”
• Also, huge props to the writers for not going to the well of “people have gay sex in prison, hahaha”.
• “Moody Giuliani” is the best nickname I have ever heard on 2 Broke Girls.
• “I didn’t lose it, I just don’t have it and I don’t know where it is-“
• “Like a waitress at a vegan restaurant, you’re bringing almost nothing to the table.”
• “That’s the hardest thing I’ve had to take in all day. And at lunch they served us something called ‘brown’.” Prison is hard.
• Sophie and Oleg had such a bitingly clever exchange it felt strange coming from their mouths.

“[The cake’s] white, what does that mean?”

“It means it has a chance of being nominated for an Academy Award.”

So apart from Max heckling customers, which the show hasn’t used to grace a cold open in quite some time, and every character besides Han poking fun at the diner’s general hygiene, the typical setting of 2 Broke Girls has rarely been a source of specific humour in the way, say, Sacred Heart hospital was on Scrubs, et cetera. We generally know it’s a dump, but the joke doesn’t extend far beyond that.

Honestly, I didn’t even know what I was missing until I got a taste of it [pun only somewhat intended].

It all begins with Oleg calling out that a “tuna malt” is ready to be served, which is honestly such a ludicrous miscommunication that I couldn’t help but smile.

In addition to that there’s the blackboard of specials, which Max’s atrocious handwriting has turned into a list of food that is . . . well, not as special as Han would probably like. They feature such dishes as “Sloppy Jobs”-

-and “Pork Chips”-

-and while the characters kind of run them into the ground a little, they’re all pretty entertaining. Just having it say “desert” instead of “dessert” is funny, especially given that no one makes note of it. The Williamsburg Diner may be a disgusting establishment, but it’s nice to see that it can also be a place where incompetence is present in the food preparation and signage as well.

As for the actual episode itself, Ed Quinn’s Randy is back! I don’t mean to keep harping on how Max’s relationship with him had its parallels with her dating Deke, but this just proves how much the show is shying away from that approach. Not only did their breakup have a resolution, it turns out it wasn’t really the end! He’s back in New York and looking to start a little something. To skip to the end with this particular arc, after Caroline expresses enough concern to actually grill him in a mock trial he admits that he’s committing to staying in the city for one month to try to make things work. A surprising turn of events to be sure.

As for the rest of the episode, Caroline’s movie money finally comes in and the two girls decide to make their Dessert Bar a reality. This means finding some real estate as Han won’t let them expand their cupcake shop into the dish room. Not willing to leave them in the lurch, their boss decides to connect them with Evie [Camille Chen], a realtor who apparently digs him.

Now, this is something I could cover in-depth down below under the “The Title Refers To” feature, but I’ll do it now. Essentially Evie wants to remain a virgin until marriage, but wants to have sex anyway. Now I hate to say it [and to use a slightly NSFW gif after the jump you’ve been warned], but this is actually something that generally terrible show House of Lies did in its episode “Bareback Town”, and that it did pretty well-

They were in Utah. She’s a Mormon. It’s really not a great show.

-by which I mean to say that House of Lies was pretty crass about it, which it may actually need in this case. 2 Broke Girls makes a bit of a running joke about “loophole” rhyming with another word, you know the one, but generally is kind of tame about it. There’s no real reason for Han to be so reticent about it besides the fact that he’s a pretty emasculated dude. Either way the audience absolutely loved it.

In the end Han decides to let them expand into the diner, and even try a few new things with Evie [just hot yoga, guys]. It’s an episode with some pretty decent highs in the diner-specific-humour and Randy’s return more or less blindsiding me, contrasted with the lows of a lacklustre aaaah-anal-is-scary-and-gross subplot and some iffy race stuff I’ll mention below. In other words it’s standard fare for 2 Broke Girls, but ultimately better than most.

Also Sophie is more pregnant now I guess.

Current Total: $72.

New Total: $250,072. So yeah, that movie money 100% came in. I’m not sure they need all $250K as startup, but NYC’s an expensive place.

The Title Refers To: Anal. See above.

Stray Observations:

• “Aw Sophie, you’re showing! And this time it’s neither of your nipples.”
• The following line joins their crack about White Academy Award winners last week, which doesn’t seem like the sort of lowbrow humour they usually use and which gives me some hope for the show moving forard: “The baby kicks, so it’s either going to be a soccer player or a Los Angeles policeman.”

A Brief Break for Stray Asian Observations:

• “In my country we never comment on two things: women’s pregnancies or Kim Jong-un’s haircut.” Okay, so Han’s North Korean?
• Max quips “Did you say real estate Asian?” and I’ve literally never hated her so much.
• [As far as I can tell] Evie lustfully tells Han “nalang haja” [“나랑 하자”], which translates to “let me”. Han tells Caroline that it means “she wants [him] to come at her hard!”
• At Han and Evie’s exit Max asks “Where were Mickey and Minnie Mouse going?” and honestly what is that even supposed to mean? What the **** is that all about?

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Stray Observations:

• “She likes me, you shrews!” Han’s outburst made me chuckle.
• Randy utilizes “the ol’ Scooby-Doo-fake-footsteps” to trick Max into turning around.
• Apparently Max was once pregnant and actually delivered a baby. Either that or she’d eaten Chipotle. It’s your choice, “whatever makes ya sleep sounder, sweetheart.”
• Randy’s neck is muscular, but not too thick.
• I did kind of like Han’s explanation about Evie wanting to just have anal sex as: “Below the waist she’s like a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back!”
• On a somewhat similar note, on Max’s pros list Randy looks like a man from the front and the back.

What do we want out of Randy? This week marks the sixth episode he’s been around, and within that time he’s already broken up with Max and travelled across the country for her. Neither are insignificant events by any means, and even starring in that many episodes is a feat in and of itself [Austin Falk’s faux-Irish Nashit was only in four last season]. That being said the question still remains-

The 2 Broke Girls showrunners don’t appear to have any interest in either Max or Caroline entering into a long-term relationship, so let’s assume that Randy will eventually exit the show. Besides simply being entertaining, which is and should be the baseline expectation with sitcoms, there has to be more to the men who step in and out of the girls’ lives.

Initially Ed Quinn’s character followed the same arc that Max’s past boyfriends have: as she grows closer to them the increased intimacy makes her uncomfortable, causing her to want to pull away. This week appears to have left that far behind with a casual exchange of “I love you”, and in spite of being a realistically healthy thing stable relationships do not equate to good television. While their “first fight” doesn’t amount to much, it’s the basis for it that could make Randy one of the most interesting addition to the 2 Broke Girls cast.See, as a lawyer to celebrities Randy is rich. Like, lives-walking-distance-from-the-Hollywood-sign rich. Max and Caroline’s poverty is played up from week to week, often to unrealistic extremes, so to have him be in New York City, specifically their apartment, is a big deal. As an audience we’re asked to suspend a hefty amount of disbelief by accepting the conceit that they live in a craphole [particularly difficult for me as it’s a larger living space than I’ve ever had in my adult life], but once that pill is swallowed the realities of their relationship really click into place.

At first reluctant to have him enter their living space, Max eventually gives her boyfriend the tour, pointing out everything that could kill him. What she refrains to mention is Nail Patrick Harris, a floor hazard that both her and Caroline have grown accustomed to avoiding. I don’t want to get into what obviously happens after that, but what occurs immediately after that is a lot of fun.

What Randy does next is what anyone, ludicrously wealthy or otherwise, would do. He tells Max that she doesn’t have to live this way. Which she takes as she takes all correction or judgement, which is to say not well. When he gets in touch with their landlord, a dangerous proposition given that Max and Caroline are illegal subletters, there’s the very real fear that things could fall apart around them [“I knew my apartment would be too real for you, and now it won’t even be my apartment.”].

The fix is quick, easy, and makes perfect sense, with Randy telling their landlord that he was injured on his property. This results in two months rent free, their names on the lease, and Max hammering [using the heel of a boot, not the actual tool itself] Nail Patrick Harris into the floor. Their first fight wraps up neatly, but ultimately hints at a larger conflict looming just on the horizon.

Given that both Max and Randy love each other it only makes sense that they would have to make decisions about where their relationship will lead them. While addressing safety hazards is a good first step, it’s very apparent that Randy would prefer that his girlfriend live a better existence overall. While she could probably loosen her attachment to her “terrible” apartment, the real issue is whether she can leave Caroline. Living with your friends is great, for a time, but what about when we have to move on with our lives and trade that companionship for moving in with a significant other?

Like I said, I highly doubt that Randy will be around long-term, but his very presence raises a lot of really fascinating questions that 2 Broke Girls can either answer or ignore moving forward. I’m hoping they gun for the former, personally.

Current Total: $250,072.

New Total: $250,072. They haven’t spent any of that sweet, sweet movie money yet.

The Title Refers To: Max and Caroline’s apartment can kill. It attacks Randy.

Stray Observations:

• “Sadliest, you were here with that old woman punched me in the breast and asked for change, right?”
• “All the stress of acting like your working starting to get to you?”
• “I just had what she’s having.” The cold open is all about Caroline’s orgasmic response to a shoulder massage. Oleg’s reactions really save it.
• Earl’s cousin works for a liquor distributor. Early also owes him $10K and a kidney.
• “Saw your rant on twitter last night and I agree: What sort of self-respecting Sizzler runs out of Spite?”
• Max’s apartment is BYOC. Bring Your Own Carbon Monoxide Detector. I feel like BYOCMD would be more accurate.
• “Don’t let my broad shoulders, stubble, and Adam’s apple confuse you, I am in fact a man.”
• “I’m Carrie! I’m Carrie at the prom!” Context: what Caroline looks like after being squirted with foot blood.
• The orderly at the hospital looks like Steve Agee, AKA Homeless Dave on New Girl. At the time of this writing I can’t confirm that on IMDb, though.
• If motivational newsletters are your thing, why not try “What’s Going Han?”.
• Earl gets it. “I’d rather see [Neil Patrick Harris] host something than Ricky Gervais. We get it! You’re mean, you fat bastard!”
• “The word ‘lawyer’ makes people crap their pants. It’s like the juice cleanse of professions.”
• Randy says that Max lives on an “Indian food burial ground”, which may be some of the best wordplay the show has ever featured.
• “I hate to be an Uzbeki giver but, I really miss my vibrating pearl.” Ah, casual racism.

Cue the 7th episode of 2 Broke Girls featuring Ed Quinn’s Randy and I’m feeling a lot less gracious than I was last week. While that installment focused on just how far Max’s boyfriend would go to prove his devotion to her [entering her apartment and stepping on the dangerous Nail Patrick Harris, for one] this week chooses to, well . . . do more of the same.

I actually spelled out in that review what typically happens with Max’s romantic partners, i.e. that: “as she grows closer to them the increased intimacy makes her uncomfortable, causing her to want to pull away.” While earlier episodes have revealed that Randy is just in town for the month he reveals to both girls that he’s actually considering becoming a partner at one of the law firms in the city.

This is obviously a huge step, him looking to actually work and live in NYC full-time, and as a result Max takes some drastic action. Or rather, her body does. 

That last paragraph ended a lot more dramatically than it needed to, especially before a break, but in actuality she has an excellent reason. Randy invites her along to a meeting at a very exclusive, exceptionally pretentious restaurant called Beak that serves such delicacies as “the ortolan bunting bird, roasted and eaten whole”. This cornucopia of bizarre, formerly feathered food is the tipping point to a night that already had her feeling queasy as she contemplates her relationship growing more and more serious.

Given my very recent visit to Mandarin Buffet and how a friend of mine reacted to eating too much, what Max does in the bathroom is something I can sympathize with. It’s also something that Caroline [and Caroline alone] is able to personally witness as she goes in after her friend.

After the two girls climb out of the bathroom window and escape Max fully admits to Caroline just why she thinks she’s getting so sick: “I’m not used to rich anything. And if this is Randy’s world, bird bones and pretentious people, then maybe my body’s telling me I can’t take it.” Mere moments later and he’s caught up with them, telling Max that she’s brave for accepting the invitation and that they’re different yet so right for each other.

I’m skimming over a lot, but as I mentioned it feels like more of the same. While last week I mentioned a lot of optimism over what Randy could do while on the show, those hopes didn’t come true this week. Max is still growing as a person but we’re not really sure to what end. Are were merely building up their relationship so that it hurts much more when it falls apart? Will her opening herself up stick, causing her next relationship to be that much easier? Will she simply revert back to her old self, essentially reestablishing the status quo?

Those are a lot of unanswered questions, but ultimately I’m disappointed by how simplistic the plot was. Besides what was mentioned Caroline-and-Max-are-good-friends, yet another well-worn narrative on the show, is enacted yet again when the former is the only one who enters the bathroom. This leads to Sophie and Oleg choosing them as the godparents to their children since they clearly care about one another so much.

There are only two episodes of 2 Broke Girls in its fifth season, and it remains to be seen if Randy will make it to the end, or if we’ll be given any proper resolution to the Dessert Bar they keep discussing. Either way, they’re going to need to make it big to pull viewers back in for Season 6. I’m back for it either way, but I’d prefer it to be the best it can possibly be.

Current Total: $250,072.

New Total: $250,072. That sweet, sweet movie money remains unspent.

The Title Refers To: Caroline refers to Max’s meal with Randy being emblematic of their partnership with one another. There could be a play on words with “shit hits the fan”, except that as far as I know Max only vomits and never defecates.

Stray Observations:

• Some great lines from Han in the cold open: “You know, this isn’t Hooters; the ‘V-bomb’ isn’t usually battered around the work place.”
• “Yesterday you said your cat was ‘too cool’ to hang out with me. So which is it? Because I am free tonight.”
• The live audience was pretty noisy tonight, whooping for Sophie’s pregnancy and for Max and Randy locking lips.
• Perogies and public hanging, two old Polish traditions.
• Max jokes about having venereal diseases, which is actually likely if she really were as promiscuous and irresponsible as the show keeps telling us she is.
• Randy’s trainer was in gay porn. That’s a joke that people laughed at.
• Randy himself has tickets to Hamilton in seven years.
• “We walked across a bridge for this? This is basically our apartment except our wild birds are alive.” Max is unimpressed by Beak’s decor.
• Leila, one of the partners at the law firm, shares that her wife Lei is a star on Instagram. “See, I talk about your accomplishments.”
• Apparently Orange is the New Black message boards are the new lesbian Tinder.
• I am typically not in love with Kat Dennings’ delivery, but “Can’t wait to get that bird foot in my mouth” was flawlessly spoken.
• Fifth Course: Tiny poached noisy scrub bird with fiddle ferns and fermented egg. It sounds gross so it must be good.
• “I think it’s beyond sick. I lost bone mass in there. My shoes are too big now.” Poor Max.
• “Well, if something were to happen to us, let Max do the breastfeeding, ’cause I don’t want the kid to starve.”

It’s weird to type the words “home stretch” without having my mind wander to how the the Raptors are doing in the NBA playoffs. To stick with illustrations involving my hometown’s professional sports team it doesn’t matter if the Raps beat the Miami Heat tonight, tying things up 1-1, since the goal is actually [and I’ll admit, implausibly] winning the entire thing. In a similar fashion it doesn’t actually matter if 2 Broke Girls delivered a spectacular episode or crashed and burned comedically [as per usual, it landed somewhere in the middle] since it’s the season finale that will [or won’t] draw audiences back this fall.

Choosing not to waste time on filler like last week’s episode, “And the Ten Inches” begins to actually move forward with the Dessert Bar idea that Max came up with four episodes ago. Construction is actually underway on what was once Max’s Homemade Cupcakes, with their first hiccup being that there’s definitely not enough room for both the bar and seating [more on that in “The Title Refers To” section below]. 

Angie, played by insult comedian Lisa Lampanelli, is one of the owners of the pizzeria next door and threatens to sue do to the very obvious visible damage that the renovations are causing to their back office. Randy is once again very pivotal to the plot of this episode, as he first charms his way into her letting the work to continue and then seeks to convince her to actually rent out the space by agreeing to be her date to her high school reunion.

There’s a potentially fresh conflict between Max and Caroline as the latter is the one who most supports what is essentially pimping out the Hollywood lawyer. While she’s definitely not happy about it, the backlash isn’t significant enough to really affect their relationship and instead Max directs all of her fury towards Angie. Even that is wrapped up quickly as a terrible former classmate rears her ugly head and causes the two girls to pity their adversary and continue the facade for her sake.

I could keep writing about the nature of conflicts in sitcoms and whether they can even be significant or long-running, but I feel like I need to return to Randy once more. Trust me, I’m very well-aware that much of last week’s review was dedicated to the character, but I just don’t know what to do with him! He’ll obviously feature in the season finale, but will he reappear in 2 Broke Girls Season 6? Could we possibly return to the show with Max still in a relationship and with her and Caroline running the completed Dessert Bar?

With questions as big as these surrounding 2 Broke Girls it makes sense that Sophie and Oleg’s pregnancy B plot has barely been simmering in the background. This episode even shelves Jennifer Coolidge’s character, with her doctor actually confining her to bedrest. With her being five month’s pregnant in “And the Ten Inches” [with the baby already at 15 lbs] I suppose it’s unlikely that she’ll finally give birth in the finale, but does that also mean she’ll be pregnant with the show’s return?

That’s a lot of questions, I realize, and pretty much all of them will be answered in part in next week’s season finale, “And the Big Gamble”. As it stands Caroline finally spent some of that sweet, sweet movie money, and by making that investment in her business with Max the audience is likewise being asked to care about yet another entrepreneurial endeavour [preferably while laughing laughing along the way]. While I can’t promise the latter, consider me as on board as I possibly could be for the former.

Current Total: $250,072.

New Total: $31,000. Hey, contractors aren’t cheap.

The Title Refers To: Randy takes a look at the blueprints that have been drawn up for their Dessert Bar and observes: “see the two dashes after [the ten]? Those are inches, not feet. You got ten inches.” If only Caroline hadn’t hired an architect from the casual encounters section on Craigslist.

Stray Observations:

• “Looks like we lost electricity. Uh-oh, all the food in the refrigerator will go worse!” Decent joke, so-so delivery.
• “Han, you look exactly like a Doozer from Fraggle Rock right now.”
• Earl asks about that “one [Kardashian] that’s a dude now” and I swear the audience was 1/3 sounds of disapproval to 2/3 laughter.
• “I’m not gay; I’m just very pro-harassment.” Say what you will about Oleg as a character, but he’s very consistent.
• “There’s so much oil in their pizza the US might invade it.” 2013 called, it wants its joke back.
• There are some pretty racist [even for this show] jokes about Italians, with Caroline mistaking Max’s “What’s your freakin’ point” for Italian before later suggesting that Randy rub parmesan behind his ears.
• “Hi, I’m Angie, but I’m thinkin’ about changing my name to yours.”
• Angelo is Angie’s twin brother, and whatever video game he plays throughout this episode production chose the old school-est saounds for.
• “I’m wearing a dress so tight you can see the kidney Angelo gave me from when I had renal failure from drinking too much Tab.”
• “Do you want to be punched in the face with my ring hand?” A so-so joke with excellent delivery.
• Earl let Buddy Holly get on that plane, but he doesn’t let it bother him. He just let it “play over and over in his mind for 60 years.”
• Sophie was so bored lying in bed that she got a degree from De Vries University.
• “I can make you look like it’s 1986. Because I lived in Poland in 2003!”
• Max tells Randy that he would’ve been in his 30s when she was in high school, which is, now that I looked up how old Ed Quinn and Kat Dennings are, surprisingly accurate.

An obvious part of my excitement for tonight’s season finale was the fact that it affords me a break from reviewing this show weekly, which is much appreciated given how busy my life has been lately. As far as the actual content of the episode there was finally finding out if Max and Randy have a future, with getting to see more Asian characters appear on the show [which I only realized when putting together the header image above] trailing far behind.

Let’s just say that I’m glad I wasn’t particularly excited about the latter. To get that out of the way before really digging into the plot points 2 Broke Girls continues to be so bad at dealing with racial minorities, particularly when it comes to Asians. This is particularly surprising when taking into account how many have been featured lately, at least in comparison to other groups. In this season alone we had a flamboyantly gay hotel manager in LA [Alec Mapa] and an anal-obsessed realtor [Camille Chen], both of whom had a decent amount of lines and screentime as side characters go.

While it is very fair to say that the majority of bit parts on 2 Broke Girls don’t allow for much more than a few quick, cheap laughs, regardless of race, the problem becomes noticeable when focusing on the main cast. Han Lee is the only Asian character among them, and can be summed up in a single word: pathetic. He exists to be the butt of every joke, and when every other Asian face can be
boiled down to “dramatic” and “really likes anal sex” the optics don’t look too great.

Joining those two is Hwang Hwang, a Korean gangster played by Jimmie Saito. He’s meant to be a threat to Han’s well-being but never actually feels dangerous, and after watching his demo reel sounds like the director told him to play it up, and then just kept repeating that over and over and over again. Anyway. This show not doing well with race. Not exactly news.

As far as the episode itself we have the girls well on their way to finishing their Dessert Bar with enough money left over for what Caroline calls a “cash cush” [which Max is disappointed to find out is not for buying kush]. Ultimately the vast majority of this is spent bailing Han out from a crushing gambling debt owed to the aforementioned Hwang. I could go into this more, but they really play up Han being a pitiful excuse for a human being, arguably past what most people would consider funny. The end result is that Max and Caroline are joint owners of the diner, with their latest business venture still becoming a reality. Their dreams haven’t actually been diverted at all, it’s just that their rainy day savings are gone.

Speaking of buying part ownership of the diner, this episode was one of the realest installments of 2 Broke Girls I’ve ever seen. Given that his return to LA is impending Randy has been trying to talk to Max about what future they have together. Upon finding out that she’s willing to invest thousands at such a short moment’s notice but can’t commit to very much at all with him he decides to head back early, buying her a ticket to visit him whenever she likes.

They part ways right outside the diner, and it’s here that Kat Dennings absolutely murders every line written for her. When Max says “We’ll figure it out, we’ll make a plan” you feel it; it’s a raw vulnerability I haven’t seen on 2 Broke Girls before now. Randy tells her that “the real distance between us is where we are in our lives” and when she responds [“What distance? I’m 3 inches away from you.”]
it elicits subdued laughter from the studio audience, muted due to the sheer emotion being portrayed.

Dennings’ delivery of “Okay, that felt really good-bye-y”, right before Randy walks down the street and hails a taxi, is allowed to stand on its own. There’s no audience reaction, no quick cuts, or even any musical accompaniment. She simply stands there for a moment before walking back inside.

As a sitcom 2 Broke Girls needs to deliver a certain number of jokes every minute, but it also needs us to care about its characters. This may be the most I have ever truly cared about Max Black, and it’s masterful work on the part of everyone involved, even Michael Patrick King who directed the episode.

It’s a fitting end to their relationship, with Max’s inability to commit torpedoing a good thing. Season 6, whenever it rolls around, should begin with the Dessert Bar up and running. I’m not sure what kinds of stories the two girls co-owning the Williamsburg Diner are going to open up, but provided that every now and then the rauncy jokes and lowbrow humour can make ways for honest emotional beats like tonight consider me fully on board for this fall. Until then, everyone!

Current Total: $31,000.

New Total: $1,000. Yeah, Han owed that guy 30 big.

The Title Refers To: How Han lost all that money: through gambling. You could say that them bailing him out was also a big risk, but it’s definitely never framed that way. It’s obviously a huge favour, just not one that appears to be particularly dangerous for Max and Caroline.

Stray Observations:

• There’s a really excellent joke somewhere in the cold open, which is about a diner with crayons and an adult colouring book. The show hits it just a little too hard to be really effective.
• “Who says that a pregnant woman can’t have sex on the kitchen floor of a diner?”
• The money spent prior to having $31K left over was spent on: a painter, an electrician, a plumber, and on bribes for the inspector.
• As small/short jokes go, this is one of the best they’ve ever done:

“Girls, I’m in a bit of hot water.”

“What happened, you fell into a teacup again?”

• The sport Han was gambling on? Women’s tennis. If only he knew which Williams sister was the good one.
• “Enigma, please.” A line that Earl, a Black man, says for laughs.
• It’s difficult for me not to compare Hwang singing Carly Rae Jepsens’ “Call Me Maybe” in a karaoke lounge to a minstrel show.
• Continuing that same show is Han singing “Last Dance” by Donna Summer in a truly craven performance. To be fair, he has until the song is over before he loses a toe due to not having the dough.
• Max had four jobs in 6th Grade and still had time to follow Smashmouth around the country [not the band, a meth head her mom really liked].
• “Hey, Bossladies.” Another line that Earl, a Black man, says to two White women, this time not for laughs.

Season premieres are all about expectations. On one hand a show needs to be instantly recognizable, a challenge for ensembles with shifting casts [I’m looking at you, Community]. On the other hand it also needs to live up to the promise of more to come. As Max and Caroline fall to the floor in the cold open, their clothing aflame, Oleg exclaims “now scissor a little, it can’t hurt” while hosing them down. That’s the first box checked off.

As for the second, there appears to be significantly more attention paid to continuity. While 2 Broke Girls season premieres have always had to follow-up on the last episode in regards to their business, both Parts One and Two of “And the Two Openings” play out in the shadow of a character I’m pleased to see is still with us.

And what an imposing shadow it is.

That’s right, while on the business side of things the two girls are part-owners of the diner and finally looking to make the Dessert Bar a reality [a lot happened, okay] what’s really been on Max’s mind is Randy [Ed Quinn]. Compared to past love interests Deke and Nashit his connection with Dennings’ character has been both strong and, surprisingly, long-lasting. Having reviewed how Season 5 came to a close I can only take his continued presence, albeit via FaceTime, as being a net positive.

Randy’s departure from NYC led to some of the best acting I’ve ever seen on 2 Broke Girls, and demonstrated that the showrunners were willing to portray emotional beats beyond those of the titular duo with one another. It even surpassed the heart-to-heart talks Max has had with Caroline when it comes to her expressing genuine emotional vulnerability. I haven’t forgotten that this show is a comedy, and as such focused on humour, but these quieter moments really allow for a more varied pacing while also reminding us that these characters are people, too. That relationship manages to stay alive, in spite of how others refer to it, in the form of X-rated video chatting, and even that feels sexy and exciting due to Max’s enthusiasm about the activity.

Continuity is also present in the reappearance of guest stars, with street performer/puppeteer J. Petto [Andy Dick] being the first. Caroline describes him as “the puppet guy who tried to sue us two years and three businesses ago by saying we injured you,” which I find fascinating. “And the Broken Hip” was the 17th episode of Season 2, meaning that those two years on the show have spanned four actual years in real time. Regardless, it appears that the writers are taking note of past events, which adds to the feeling that these are actual lives being lived onscreen.

It’s also helpful as it helps explain the bad vibes between J. Petto and Max and Caroline. While he’s turned away as a potential bartender at their soon-to-open Dessert Bar he manages to retaliate by denying them a liquor license while working his day job. Part One wraps up with our title characters realizing that since the Dessert Bar is their severely remodelled [essentially unrecognizable as the same space] cupcake shop, which is connected to the diner, which has a liquor license, they must in turn have one and thus their problems are solved. Soon after which Sophie’s water breaks, since she was pregnant for much of last season and continues to be [at least up until Part Two].

Overall the first installment of the 2 Broke Girls Season 6 premiere hits the ground running, and builds up enough momentum to warrant a double-episode. There’s actually enough going on that squeezing all of this into a half hour time slot would feel rushed and abrupt, while never feeling like they’re padding things out too heavily, either.

The Title Refers To: The first opening is obviously that of their new business, the Dessert Bar, which does not take place in these twenty-or-so minutes.

Stray Observations:

• “I’m not used to seeing you girls in clothes. [beat] Things just sound creepier when you’re old”
• There’s a really big shakeup early on where Caroline states that they’re “just gonna look better”, ie. not wear uniforms anymore, due to their upgraded roles in the diner. Those outfits are ruined by the aforementioned fire, and thus the visual status quo is maintained.
• Not content with tearaway pants, Oleg’s underwear also features the same utility.
• Han describes Max’s breakup with Randy as “more indulgent than Beyonce’s Lemonade.”
• Caroline sticking out her tongue while slowly unfolding J. Petto’s resume is simply delightful. Beth Behrs is a large part of the reason I watch this show [the hits I get on these reviews is also sizable].

• No one knows what a Dessert Bar is, and as running jokes work it’s not too bad.
• Another running joke is the many part-time jobs Han has taken to working in order to fully buy back his diner.
• Max took the batteries out of their carbon monoxide detector. “Do your eyes feel bloodier than usual?”
• “If you didn’t want to upset me then why do you chew salad so loudly?”
• In response to Sophie saying “you get it” in reference to vibrating panties:

“I do not, and I will not act that like I might.”

“You know you’re a puzzle, that I have no interest in solving”

• Earl says that Max and Caroline are “as unlucky A F,” which stands for “as Freddy”.
• Also I didn’t mention it, but Sophie’s water breaking is out of control. It’s obviously very fake, but also gross in just how much liquid is pouring out.
• Referring to Han as a “mini driver” is the cleverest short joke this show has ever done.

Whereas “And the Two Openings: Part One” was largely occupied with the logistics of their Dessert Bar opening, “Part Two” is focused on Sophie’s childbirth. It’s the culmination of a storyline that took up much of last season, with the Eastern European couple navigating the twists and turns that come with wanting to be parents.

While that journey was a fairly comprehensive one, with the couple discussing such options as adoption due to their seeming inability to have children naturally, both Sophie and Oleg continue to be relatively flat characters. Once the  former gives birth [in a hospital and not a Polish forest, to her delight] she’s obviously overjoyed, but how being a mother will change her isn’t touched on, or even really hinted at.

She is concerned that Oleg will regret missing their daughter’s entry into the world and fakes the whole thing with Max and Caroline’s help. Their charade results in him passing out, but it’s not out of actual apprehension or nervousness about becoming a father. Instead Oleg hits the deck due to Max’s description of what’s going on in Sophie’s nether regions; the word “ooze” is used a lot.

Sophie and Oleg have never been particularly three-dimensional, but as the longest-lasting couple and now as parents they bear a lot of storytelling potential. The introduction of a child on any TV show is also a pretty big deal, and if 2 Broke Girls enters into its 7th, 8th, and even 9th seasons it remains to be seen how it will be able to balance its trademark raunchy humour with the presence of a toddler.

The second returning guest star is 2 Chainz, who Max and Caroline met on a plane once. My review of that episode is far from favourable, but it’s interesting to note that it takes place directly after the one in which Andy Dick’s J. Petto is first introduced. Having Season 6 premiere with two guest stars from Season 2 can’t be a common move in the sitcom game, and it makes one wonder why they were selected out of the handful available [though it’s not like Lindsay Lohan has anything else to do].

Similar to his first outing on 2 Broke Girls 2 Chainz is given very little to do this time around, largely due to J. Petto showing up to explain that liquor licenses do not in fact extend to all businesses on a shared property. As a result Max and Caroline’s Dessert Bar will be closed for the next 14 business days as they await their actual liquor license [because a Dessert Bar without alcohol is just . . . a bakery?]. Having put in his time 2 Chainz bounces, though Earl tagging along with him allows this episode the rare achievement of passing what I’m calling the Black Bechdel Test.

One particularly important aspect of Petto’s announcement, besides the Dessert Bar opening being put on hold for almost three weeks, is that he also slapped them with a $25K fine. Given that Max and Caroline already dropped 3 Gs to help get Han out of his gambling debt [again, just skim my last review] they’re not in a place to pay it. With that in mind they immediately rescind full ownership of the diner to Han, which leaves him with the responsibility of footing the bill.

In the first episode we saw the girls’ apparent escape from their hideous waitress uniforms only to be seen wearing them mere minutes later. The second firmly reestablishes the status quo, albeit with Han owing quite a bit of money [and likely resulting in him keeping his half-dozen part-time gigs]. While this swift reversal may appear frustrating to some, a reestablishment to the status quo or a “familiar situation” is a facet of prototypical story structure. Dan Harmon, of Community and now Rick and Morty fame, lays it all out in a write-up titled “Story Structure 101: Super Basic Shit“. Conflict and change are essential, but ultimately so is a return to the way things were.

In that same way the Dessert Bar is a brand new business venture for Max and Caroline, but it’s really just one of a long line of brand new business ventures. Last month I came across an article that wondered “Will the ‘2 Broke Girls’ Ever Not Be Broke?“, positing that the duo might even “make millions” one day. While it concludes with the idea that their riches lie in the emotional bonds made, an idea more sickly sweet than even their cupcakes, I have to disagree. 2 Broke Girls‘ premise lies in its name, and I personally don’t believe they’ll ever make it until their last season wraps up.

For me one of the appeals of 2 Broke Girls is watching two young women try their hardest to make it in the world, and to never let their failures become setbacks. It’s cheesy and idealistic to be sure, but it also communicates the idea that it’s hard out there for everyone, sitcom characters included. While their comedy has never really been my bag that narrative does drag me back time and time again. I, for one, am interested to see how it runs its course in Season 6.

Current Total: $1,000.

New Total: $535. I can’t think of what they could have spent money on that would have cost them hundreds of dollars. Possibly on actually acquiring their liquor license?

The Title Refers To: The second of the two openings is, in all likelihood, Sophie’s vagina, through which a child exited this episode.

Stray Observations:

• “Don’t leave me in there alone, you know I see dead people!” In case you’d forgotten that Earl is old.
• Han’s part-time jobs include: flower deliveryperson, Lyft/Uber driver, drug dealer [molly specifically], and dog walker.
• Oleg sold rare porn collection to get Sophie a fancy birthing suite, which I suppose is some kind of progress.
• Sophie’s birthing snack is Let’s Potato Chips, and you would not believe how much a bag costs.
• Welcome to 2 Broke Girls, Barbara Kachinsky Golishevsky!
• The dog Han was walking “fornicated its way across Greenpoint.” To which his friends respond “Been there,” and “Done that.”
• 2 Chainz is bummed that the Dessert Bar’s opening was cancelled. “Guess I’m gonna have to grab a bottle of rose and head over to Mrs. Fields again.”

Even given the premiere’s botched opening it’s still a bit surprising that we return to see Max and Caroline’s Dessert Bar as having been open for a full week. As the girls’ most recent attempt at finally making it big I expected there to be more excitement surrounding it, yet we find that they’re still working at the diner due to their business having trouble taking off.

It’s strange to type the words “still working at the diner” since that’s such a core aspect of the show. All of CBS’s promotional material for 2 Broke Girls has them wearing their waitress uniforms and at this point doing away with them would be like having Howard Wolowitz in anything other than a turtleneck, or Barney Stinson without a suit. The fact that the premiere would even tease them leaving their mustard yellow threads behind  was jarring enough, however shortlived it was. Having them hint at moving away from the status quo in consecutive episodes may just be a coincidence, but if it shows up again next Monday something has to be up. It’s not to say that I expect the show to make any drastic moves right out the gate, but there does appear to be a testing of the waters.

All that being said, the A-plot of “And the 80’s Movie” isn’t anything to write home about. Seeking upscale clientele for the Dessert Bar they hit up the chicest spot in Williamsburg where they’re bound to find “models, gays, rich guys that want to have sex with models . . . and gays.” While Caroline starts rubbing shoulders with the aforementioned Max find a kindred spirit in a snarky female bouncer. This in turn leads to said bouncer showing up to the Dessert Bar with a crowd of rowdy, boisterous women who also happen to be members of NYC’s Elite Ladies’ Underground Arm Wrestling . . . Association [I’m not sure what the group is officially titled, they never say]. This of course is the opposite of what they wanted, and it’s up to them to figure out how to get them out of there.

A big part of these reviews has always been prodding at the gaping holes in the narrative’s logic, and this one is harder to ignore than most. It’s not so much that the group is loud [they are] and bothering other customers [they’re actively scaring them away], it’s that they aren’t technically even clientele. Caroline points out that the beer they’re drinking they brought themselves, and when she insists they order something they ask for a round of waters. This is a valid and legal reason to ask people to leave your place of business. Instead they have to arm wrestle Big Reba, because of course they do, in order to get them to leave.

In another predictable turn of events Caroline is the one to defeat the champ, not Max. The climax of the episode involves the latter motivating her friend by shouting about how awful her life has become, to which the former bumps it up to another level of overacting. 

Now don’t get me wrong, “You haven’t had sex in a year!” ain’t bad. “You chased a dollar onto the third rail of the subway and you didn’t even get it!” is actually quite funny. “You work as a waitress as a diner” is, well, a fact Caroline should be familiar with given the past few years. It’s just, “Old Navy is out of your price range!” isn’t the strongest closer.

That and, although I’ve very often cited Beth Behrs as being the comedic bright spot that makes each episode significantly more bearable, she’s a bit much here. It’s like each successive level she was being directed in a bizarro WKUK sketch where she was told to instead act “angrier and with your mouth open”.

There’s a C-plot for both Earl and Han which involves them fighting over a stool that’s not bad, especially considering that it gives 2 Broke Girls least-utilized players something to do with one another, however short that time may be. What I regretfully feel like I need to touch on [with a ten foot pole] is Sophie and Oleg’s B-plot.

Last week I wondered if the show would “be able to balance its trademark raunchy humour with the presence of a toddler”, but that question is relevant now given that I feel they’re struggling to do that with an unseen newborn. Both parents spend most of their time onscreen lusting after one another, which leads to a truly horrific scene in which they essentially use the stroller to low-key grind on one another-

I found myself mimicking Caroline’s facial expressions, but in or outside of a comedic context it’s wildly unsettling. This is the very first full episode in which Sophie and Oleg and a mother and father, respectively, and while the latter has a brief moment where he fawns over his daughter they’re largely preoccupied with trying not to bone one another. It’s certainly not the character growth I was hoping for, anyway.

All in all this episode was largely foreseeable, and doesn’t offer much promise for future installments, at least as far as what might come along next. At the very least Max and Randy have “decided to continue [their] non-exclusive long-distance sexting thing”, which has been comforting in its own way.

Current Total: $535.00

New Total: $1,050. My assumption is that the bump in funds is profit from the Dessert Bar.

The Title Refers To: Max and Caroline having to arm wrestle for control of their very own business. The latter even directly says “it’s gettin’ real 80’s movie up in here.”

Stray Observations:

• the cold open had a joke about an entire pack of dogs entering the diner and trying to have sex with Caroline. Yikes.
• That said, what were the censors even doing with this episode given that Oleg helped Max sext Randy by typing “”your testicles are two glistening Cadbury Eggs and mama’s got a sweet tooth” to which my only reaction is-

I’ve actually never seen Oreshura, I’m not some kind of anime nerd.

• In all seriousness, though, 2 Broke Girls appears to be pushing the limit on what they can get away with.
• Sophie treats the stroller with her infant child in it really roughly. Caroline quips that “there better be a cartoon baby dressed like Al Capone in that thing”, but really, yikes.
• Oleg’s erotic poetry was rejected by National Pornographic.
• “I can’t wait for you to put your butt on my butt . . . in my pants.” But really though, Max was not good at sexting.
• “Nahani and Arielle are models, they can eat whatever they want HATE THEM.”
• “It’s my cheat night, that’s why I’m with him.” Oh, those sassy gays.
• I enjoyed how they called the bouncer out for showing up in gym shorts and a SUNY Albany sweatshirt.
• “Can you unfollow a person in real life?”
• Earl flaming Han for being short is pretty hypocritical, really.
• “Find a dock or a junkyard or a Buffalo Wild Wings.” / “Who wants to drink where they work?”
• “I’m gonna tell you what I tell three tourists a day: I am not Carl Weathers.”

First thing’s first, I’d like to apologize for how poor the quality of these header images has been lately. For some reason the 2 Broke Girls photos page on the CBS site hasn’t uploaded any new preview galleries since the premiere, so here we are, having to screenshot teasers on YouTube.

With that out of the way, this episode bears the distinction of having the A-plot revolve around characters who aren’t Max and Caroline. Instead the primary conflict revolves around the baptism of Sophie and Oleg’s daughter Barbara. In particular Oleg’s mother, Olga [Mercedes Ruehl], who deems the titular duo as being unfit godparents, which really complicates the ceremony actually taking place.

So little actually ends up happening that the twenty-some minutes feel shorter than most weeks. Given that Earl is a Universal Life minister the diner gang decides to do the baptism in secret, which leads to the brief diversion of Caroline stealing holy water from the church. After the christening Olga appears, is angry for half a second, and ultimately blesses her son and accepts her daughter-in-law.

Having summed up “And the Godmama Drama” what more is there to say in this review?

I know for a fact that I’ve lambasted 2 Broke Girls for perpetuating Asian stereotypes before, in particular those of the sexless, effete Asian man. That said, this episode really goes overboard with the Eastern European caricature that is Oleg’s mother. It’s not even so much the jokes, which have been far worse in the past [remember how Sophie believes cats are the reincarnated souls of people who die outside?], but how much her accent is played for laughs. It’s really low-hanging fruit as far as humour goes.

As far as the actual centre of this episode, Sophie and Oleg, I continue to watch the couple for signs that things are changing with them being parents. Sophie entering the diner was particularly troubling to me, because she bangs the stroller violently around which the audience laughs at. She yells “It’s okay she’s strapped in” to calm any concerned viewers who believe that passengers in both baby carriages and cars need to abide by the exact same rules. This just in, CBS, maybe don’t joke about harming literal infants. Sophie and Oleg’s bonding to Barbara isn’t particularly noteworthy either, with the former musing, after the baptism, that “She can tell that she avoided an eternal hellfire.”

All in all this episode continued two characters easing their way into parenthood, albeit not in a necessarily satisfying fashion. Next week “And the College Experience” promises a return to Max and Caroline’s regularly scheduled antics, and hopefully we see how things move forward then. “And the Godmama Drama” was an interesting diversion, but not enough to keep us from wanting to return to the show’s typical flow.

Current Total: $1,050.00

New Total: $1,845.25. Once again, my best guess is that this money is based on the Dessert Bar’s profits.

The Title Refers To: The drama surrounding Max and Caroline’s fitness as godmothers.

Stray Observations:

• The Dessert Bar’s menu is “already a little nipple-heavy,” featuring such items as the Nipple-tini and the Piña Co-nipple.
• Olga actually garners cheers [à la Sophie] when she appears.
• Her and Oleg share the prerequisite uncomfortably long kiss on the lips between relatives.
• Pilatskis: “like pilates only instead of rubber bands you do it with big airplane tires”
• Olga and Sophie both mussing Oleg’s hair was some pretty decent physical comedy.
• “So basically we’re just waterboarding a baby-“
• Max wants to believe in Santa Claus, but “every house in one night? C’mon-“
• Oleg on baby monitors: “It’s a great thing if you’re not home, or if you just don’t trust your baby!”
• Max at confession: “Just to summarize: fires, fires, knife fights, robberies, robberies, knife robberies, but 3rd Grade is where the real sinning began.”
• “Oleg I’m glad you’re not wearing your vagina tie.” / “It’s dirty.”
• Given the next three lines, I actually want to award Jonathan Kite the award for comedy MVP; his line delivery was flawless.
• “Damn you Curves, I forgot it’s an hour workout packed into 30 minutes!”
• “Mother, here’s the truth, whether you like it or not: my friends and I like to dress up and put on pretend baptisms.”
• “Are you gonna spank me here, or can we go in another room? Because I don’t love, love, love the underwear I’m wearing.”

The third and final US Presidential Debate may have taken place last week, but fact-checking is never far from my mind. Now given that this show once played up the fact that an 18-year-old was a minor I may be asking for too much here, but allow me to put aside some space to create a new feature that I hope continues on past this week-

2 Broke Girls Fact-Check:

1) Max implies that she hasn’t been inside of a church in recent memory when she says: “Wow, haven’t been to a church in a . . . have I ever been in a church?”

FALSE-ISH: Max was last in a church for Sophie and Oleg’s wedding, which took place in “And the Disappointing Unit”, the Season 4 finale. The third item on this list actually addressed the timeline, but given what we know the event occurred within the last year or so. That’s not nearly long enough for Max to have forgotten, though this can be chalked up to poor memory or a bad joke.

2) Caroline states that, according to Scripture, baptisms must occur inside a church: “Anyway, where is it written that a baptism has to happen in a church? Other than the Bible-“

FALSE: The first baptisms, as recorded in the Bible, actually take place in the literal wilderness. There are no verses that state that the ceremony must in fact take place in a church. This could be explained by Caroline’s poor understanding of Christianity.

3) Max compliments Caroline’s jug, to which she responds, “Max I’ve been waiting six years to hear you say that,” implying that they have known each other for six years.

FALSE: In my review of this season’s premiere I noted that Caroline describes a character who appears in Season 2 as someone who “tried to sue [them] two years ago”.  In other words, the only possible way for them to have met six years ago is for the first two seasons to have taken place over the course of four years, which is essentially impossible.